Work Work Work! The Reason I Bleed
- By Tracy Ames
- Published August 10, 2010
Tracy Ames
My name is Tracy Ames. I’m an author of interracial erotic fiction. My stories are a sensual feast for your senses; mind, body and soul.
I began writing short stories for monthly newsletters and, believe it or not, my friends. After much encouragement, I’m ready to offer you a taste of what only a few have previously savored.
A native of the San Francisco Bay area, I currently split time between Greenwich CT & New York City with my husband, children and a host of pets.
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Artist reading this post will sympathize, while the rest of you will give me credit simply to shut me up.
I’m a method writer. I pour my feelings, blood, sweat and tears into my work. I sit with the characters, get into their heads, experience their pain and sorrow…in short, I bleed. This is fine during happy times but it’s the darker more serious bits that drive me up the wall. I get this tightening of the belly thing going and it sucks!
So I skirt around the areas of unpleasantness until I finally work up the nerve to address them. For anyone who has read “Make Her Want It”, you know which scene(s) I’m talking about. I’m tearfully beating my characters like a piñata, sending their guts spilling to the ground for my readers to partake. Only then can I piece their lifeless misshapen bodies back together, better than before. It’s emotional, it’s gut wrenching, it’s numbing. It sucks!
Talking to fellow authors who aren’t method writers, I hear the same thing, “Oh, be happy you can dig that deep. The readers can feel what the characters are feeling.” To this I say, “Shut up!” and see picture below...:)
It’s true, the emotions of the characters and scenes are made more powerful because we can conjure these feelings and lay them on paper. However, we’re left open like a festering wound….crumpled on the floor heaving for air, our beating hearts resting bloodily in our outstretched hands to the applause and jeers of our fans and critics.
This is what method artist go through. It’s not always pretty…it’s damn near unattractive. Once we commit to the scene/song/character, we go all the way. Hell, Heath Ledger ended up taking anti-depressants while reading the script for the Joker...mind you they hadn’t even begun shooting! Hello, what part of this screams healthy?!
Moving on…
I’ve reached that pivotal point in “Wicked”. All of the words and scenes are in my head crying to be put on page. There’s no skirting around it, I have to muster the strength to do it. Actually, “Wicked” has about four different ending because I haven’t decided which one to use.
Other notable method artists, just to name a few, are:
Anthony Hopkins
Christina Aguilera
Jeff Goldblum
Alice Walker
Jane Austen
Ray Fiennes
Matt Damon
Spalding Gray
Laurence Fishburne
Sarah Vaughan
Ann Rice
Patti Labelle
I remember reading a few years ago that Patti Labelle dreads singing “If You Don’t Know Me By Now” because, emotionally, it takes so much out of her. Leading up to the song, she feels sick. I completely understand what she means but we power through it and count ourselves blessed to have loyal fans/friends. Still, we bleed! :)
Anyway, I have three manuscripts, three short stories, and two novellas staring back at me. I’d better get to work. Chat soon....
I could SO see Jane Austen flipping the bird!
I’m a method writer. I pour my feelings, blood, sweat and tears into my work. I sit with the characters, get into their heads, experience their pain and sorrow…in short, I bleed. This is fine during happy times but it’s the darker more serious bits that drive me up the wall. I get this tightening of the belly thing going and it sucks!
So I skirt around the areas of unpleasantness until I finally work up the nerve to address them. For anyone who has read “Make Her Want It”, you know which scene(s) I’m talking about. I’m tearfully beating my characters like a piñata, sending their guts spilling to the ground for my readers to partake. Only then can I piece their lifeless misshapen bodies back together, better than before. It’s emotional, it’s gut wrenching, it’s numbing. It sucks!
Talking to fellow authors who aren’t method writers, I hear the same thing, “Oh, be happy you can dig that deep. The readers can feel what the characters are feeling.” To this I say, “Shut up!” and see picture below...:)
It’s true, the emotions of the characters and scenes are made more powerful because we can conjure these feelings and lay them on paper. However, we’re left open like a festering wound….crumpled on the floor heaving for air, our beating hearts resting bloodily in our outstretched hands to the applause and jeers of our fans and critics.
This is what method artist go through. It’s not always pretty…it’s damn near unattractive. Once we commit to the scene/song/character, we go all the way. Hell, Heath Ledger ended up taking anti-depressants while reading the script for the Joker...mind you they hadn’t even begun shooting! Hello, what part of this screams healthy?!
Moving on…
I’ve reached that pivotal point in “Wicked”. All of the words and scenes are in my head crying to be put on page. There’s no skirting around it, I have to muster the strength to do it. Actually, “Wicked” has about four different ending because I haven’t decided which one to use.
Other notable method artists, just to name a few, are:
Anthony Hopkins
Christina Aguilera
Jeff Goldblum
Alice Walker
Jane Austen
Ray Fiennes
Matt Damon
Spalding Gray
Laurence Fishburne
Sarah Vaughan
Ann Rice
Patti Labelle
I remember reading a few years ago that Patti Labelle dreads singing “If You Don’t Know Me By Now” because, emotionally, it takes so much out of her. Leading up to the song, she feels sick. I completely understand what she means but we power through it and count ourselves blessed to have loyal fans/friends. Still, we bleed! :)
Anyway, I have three manuscripts, three short stories, and two novellas staring back at me. I’d better get to work. Chat soon....
I could SO see Jane Austen flipping the bird!
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8 Responses to "Work Work Work! The Reason I Bleed"
said this on 10 Aug 2010 1:16:09 PM CST
I feel you, Tracy! Some scenes just take so much out of you. I loved this blog post. So true. I love the picture as well LOL! We fans appreciate all that you do to give us a good read.
Best, Serenity |
said this on 10 Aug 2010 1:30:27 PM CST
Serenity, I can tell you go through the same when you write. It's a strange feeling, isn't it? Very difficult to put into words. I love the picture...I have very talented artsy friends. They rock!
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said this on 10 Aug 2010 2:39:36 PM CST
It's a very strange feeling. I'm finishing up something now that took so much out of me to write...then I wrote a scene this morning that had me wanting to marry the hero myself. Before that I was physically ill writing some scenes.
Be encouraged! |
said this on 10 Aug 2010 3:38:06 PM CST
LMAO! I know the feeling well. It's getting over the humps that wear you out because you see them coming. You just want to skip all of it and go straight to HEA.
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said this on 10 Aug 2010 4:37:36 PM CST
Tracy,
What can I say it a vicious cycle-you put yourself through the emotional ringer but if you didn't you wouldn't be satisfied with your work. when your blood is put into your work we feel you-you take us into a world only few can take us and we willing follow. I've always believe the great "method artist" border the line of having multiple personality/schizophrenia (too much is going on up there lol I'm just saying) now that your keyboard is covered with blood, guts and glory I can't wait to read the latest installment for wicked ohhhhhhhhh it's going to be good. We love you T.A. :-) |
said this on 10 Aug 2010 5:10:40 PM CST
I loce you to, Judy! You guys keep me going. The multiple personality/schizophrenia bit might have some weight. I know a few folks that have me looking sideway but for the most part we're emotionally passionate people. Why the hell else would we continually put ourselves through hell?! Madness I tell ya!
I hope to have "Wicked" done by the weekend. It's going to be good. |
said this on 10 Aug 2010 7:42:08 PM CST
Well you already know how I cried at those scences in "Make her want it" So If I could get that emotional just reading it. I can only imagine how it must have been for you to write them. I'm quite sure it's extremly draining emotionally. So I definatley appreciate you pouring put your blood sweat and tear into your writing cause I don't know if I could do it.
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said this on 10 Aug 2010 8:16:24 PM CST
Crystal, those scenes in "Make her want it" had me in tears. How sad is it that I cry from my own work? Whatever.
If it makes for good reading then It's worth it. I love you guys. :) |