The Things Tracy Can't Do: Part Deux
- By Tracy Ames
- Published March 28, 2011
Tracy Ames
Mrs. Ames is an international bestselling author of interracial erotic fiction and a former columnist for several newsletters and magazines.
A native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Tracy currently split time between Greenwich CT & New York City with her husband, children and a host of pets.
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Have you ever stumbled across an act in an erotic novel which has turned you off to the point where you stop reading or were compelled to pull up Google?
This was today’s topic of discussion with my fellow scribbler girlfriends. While my prowess for spinning a damn good oral scene goes unquestioned, my aversion to anal* and other fecal related acts have earned me the distinction of a prude. I make no apologies. There are acts I can’t get onboard with.
Let me expound…
A man eating his own ‘man sauce’ from a woman’s naughty bit. Worse still, a man eating another man’s sauce. I’ve read this in a couple of novels and it left a bad taste in my mouth (no pun intended). I couldn’t shake the image and from that moment on I didn’t feel the couple.
Nipple twisting and cooter slapping. Maybe it’s me but twisting my nipples will result in a homicide. I read a tale where the hero kept twisting the heroine’s nipples and slapping ‘the love below’ really hard! I had to put the book down and walk away. I’ve explored the whole cooter slapping bit in “Between His Sheets” but this was done by a trained professional. The hero in question was a layman. I kept thinking “Run Bitch! Damn the Gucci pumps! Get the hell out!”
Breaking wind (farting) during lovin’. There’s a whole fetish dedicated to eruptio gastro but I don’t get it. No matter how hot you are, passing gas isn’t sexy. It’s distracting. I’d be reaching for the Glade then reaching for the gun.
I’d like to hear what's caused you to pause. I’m pretty sure it’s some sick BS floating around out there.
*I can write anal scenes however they require lots of time, a glass of red wine, and copious amounts of Advil.
This was today’s topic of discussion with my fellow scribbler girlfriends. While my prowess for spinning a damn good oral scene goes unquestioned, my aversion to anal* and other fecal related acts have earned me the distinction of a prude. I make no apologies. There are acts I can’t get onboard with.
Let me expound…
A man eating his own ‘man sauce’ from a woman’s naughty bit. Worse still, a man eating another man’s sauce. I’ve read this in a couple of novels and it left a bad taste in my mouth (no pun intended). I couldn’t shake the image and from that moment on I didn’t feel the couple.
Nipple twisting and cooter slapping. Maybe it’s me but twisting my nipples will result in a homicide. I read a tale where the hero kept twisting the heroine’s nipples and slapping ‘the love below’ really hard! I had to put the book down and walk away. I’ve explored the whole cooter slapping bit in “Between His Sheets” but this was done by a trained professional. The hero in question was a layman. I kept thinking “Run Bitch! Damn the Gucci pumps! Get the hell out!”
Breaking wind (farting) during lovin’. There’s a whole fetish dedicated to eruptio gastro but I don’t get it. No matter how hot you are, passing gas isn’t sexy. It’s distracting. I’d be reaching for the Glade then reaching for the gun.
I’d like to hear what's caused you to pause. I’m pretty sure it’s some sick BS floating around out there.
*I can write anal scenes however they require lots of time, a glass of red wine, and copious amounts of Advil.
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11 Responses to "The Things Tracy Can't Do: Part Deux"
said this on 28 Mar 2011 8:40:15 PM CDT
Well I read this book a while back where there were 4 guys who basically gangbanged the woman. I'm hardly a prude and I even enjoy reading an good Ménage à trois book . But I was completely turned off by this book. I just didn't find 4 men running a train on a female to be the least bit erotic or sexy.
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said this on 28 Mar 2011 8:52:22 PM CDT
LMAO! Tracy you didn't say nothing but the truth. The aforementioned is not just a turn off but it's disturbing. If you don't get it then there's no way in hell that I do. The nipple twisting and cooter slapping I see in a LOT of stories! That does not sound sexy, it just sounds painful. Eruptio gastro? Yeah I'm not touching that one. A person will get their ass kicked dealing with me. Lol!
I agree with Olga, this is classic Tracy. ;) |
said this on 28 Mar 2011 9:01:37 PM CDT
That was STRAIGHT UP, hilarious. I co sign to ALL OF THE ABOVE.
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said this on 28 Mar 2011 10:56:01 PM CDT
ROFPMSL!! Classic Tracy! I had to wipe my monitor after reading this post. I bought a book right before I found your work. It is a very popular book with toe jam licking. Nasty! I threw the book away.
Goddess I love your work. |
said this on 29 Mar 2011 1:02:15 AM CDT
All I have to say is, word! I read a story where the dude kisses the chica after she blows him and he "tastes himself in her mouth" and describes (internally) how he feels bad for women having to swallow. *rolling my eyes*
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said this on 29 Mar 2011 1:35:02 AM CDT
Most of my erotica reading is done online. But, when I came across an example of armpit-sex my thinking was that people who enjoy that exercise can continue to keep it to themselves. Similarly, that whole foot fetish thing is just lost on me.
I'm not disgusted or explicitly repullesed. Rather, my brain finds armpits and feet to be, as thoughts, mutually exclusive with sex. They're cordial but they don't like to spend time together. Whenever I see them presented together, I'm filled with the desire to nod to someone, say "Oh no, I'll just be going away now," and put some distance between whatever they're doing and ever involving me. |
said this on 29 Mar 2011 1:00:29 PM CDT
LMAO!!! I'm literally on the floor laughing. Yeah i don't get it either. No man will twist my nipples, these babies are for sucking purposes only. No cooter slapping either WTH !! you can lick it, i'll take a little nibbling and sucking but if you slap it, i'll smack you back to wherever you come from.
As for armpit, farting, toe licking, and other bizarre( my opinion) go to hell!!!! Not Ms Heidi honey. Anal? no thanks. I may be feisty and all( yes I'm aware I'm renting) but keep your thing away from my pretty hole, it hurts when i have to do #2( haha) so that's a big NO. You can smack my pretty derriere all you want, and pin me to the wall....I'll take that any day |
said this on 29 Mar 2011 7:07:49 PM CDT
I guess I'm a real prude, then because I can't stand any of that crap you mentioned! I love to write sexual fantasies where people actually enjoy sex and romance without getting physically hurt or going off the deep end. I call what I write "normal" and that stuff "abnormal". I guess there is a time and place for abnormal for those who are into it, but it's not for me,....
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said this on 29 Mar 2011 10:12:55 PM CDT
Just reading this post made me gag. I've heard of stuff like this, but have been fortunate enough to have not stumbled across it. Thank God. Yeah, that's pretty disgusting.
Cooter slapping? Really? Slap my cooter and I'll punch you. Spank my ass, (not too hard!) just don't slap the cooter. I'll hurt you, really. |