This past week has been interesting. By interesting I mean bananas.

Greg’s mother, Momma Ames, is very unwell so we may end up in Iowa next week. My folks are headed back to Germany for the summer. Lawrence and Portia found a house in Switzerland and won’t be returning (no surprise there).

Greg took Christopher condom shopping. His reasoning behind this shopping trip was to either embarrass Chris so badly that he’d never think about touching his daughter, but if he did, he would at least knew how to purchase protection. Mission accomplished! Christopher was TOTALLY freaked….poor kid lay on our sofa for hours with a pillow over his head repeating, “Oh. My. God.”…Eva died laughing. Welcome to the family Chris!


Now on to BC…

Clinton is in rare form. As you read, please remember we’re dealing with a highly intelligent child.


-- I had a recorded interview to do but I also had a ton of errands to run so I interviewed via my cell, gave BC his earphones and put on a movie to entertain him while we were out. Interview complete, we stopped to donate items to Goodwill and we stepped inside while the worker fetches a receipt. We browsed the book section along with older man….the old man farts….I pray BC didn’t hear it. Too late, he heard it! *Cue Wide-Eyed Kid Pointing* “Tracy! That man pass gas! That’s not nice! You pass gas in the bathroom not in front of people!! Tracy!!!” Now he’s screaming all of this because he’s had his earphones on in the car and his hearing hasn’t quite corrected itself. Oh the shame!!


-- We’re downstairs in the basement watching TV and we hear glass breaking. Everyone looks around….Daniel: “Where’s BC?” He goes upstairs to the kitchen and finds BC standing with the dishwasher open, smashing EVERY glass he touches. *Cue Everyone In The Kitchen Staring At BC*. He’s cracking up laughing and we can’t get near him because of the broken glass. Greg pulls him from the rumble…BC tells him that he saw people on a movie smashing glasses (I’m guessing “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”). Every parent knows that guilty look their child gets when they’ve been caught doing something wrong. BC didn’t have a clue! The plates went untouched but he broke all of our glasses. *Sigh*


-- BC can’t speak French however if you speak slowly he can answer you in English. That being said, Zora told him to get ready for his bath….ten minutes later Greg finds him downstairs on the sofa watching TV. Greg asked why he disobeyed Zora. BC shrugged, “I don’t speak French.” *Greg Rubs Temples*


-- I’m cooking dinner and BC is in the dining room, looking out of the sliding glass door. This went on for at least thirty minutes unquestioned. Finally I asked him what he was looking at. He replied, “Fireflies, Tracy. There’s a lot of them but I don’t wanna go out there. They’ll set me on fire!”


-- Karaoke machine + No nanny = BC dancing feverishly while singing “More Than a Woman”.

-- BC to bratty play date, “It’s time for you to go home.”

-- BC to Whole Food’s cashier, “I have two dads and they slept in the same bed.” *Greg Drops Head In Shame*  We really have to work on his full disclosure trigger because there's no way, "Aw, you're so cute. You look just like your dad." warrant his statement.



Well, that’s last week. Next week is sure to be ‘interesting’