The WASP: White Anglo-Saxon Protestant















The word WASP conjures images of: Yachting, Martha’s Vineyard, Seersucker, DAR, Pure Breed White Families, Cape Cod, The Mayflower, the Northeastern Educated Elites…in short, the uber-wealthy. All of these labels are spot on! They are, in fact, set above the supposed “Whites” because they are pure—descendants of The Mayflower (Greg’s family). Pardon me while I gag....


Us normal people look at White people and say, “Ok, he's White.” Not so fast!! All is not equal in Whiteville. Just because they look White doesn’t mean they’re White. WASPs are White—pure British Anglo-Saxon descendants. If you wanna piss off a WASPs simply hint that the Kennedy’s are WASPs. They’ll reply, in their coined snobby elitist tone, “The Kennedy’s are Irish-Catholics. They are not WASPs and never will be.”


Aw, poor Joe and Rose Kennedy weren’t and never will be accepted into WASPtopia.
     


This is a classic example of the WASPs' world. Their pale skinned brethren have been beating at their doors for generations, pleading for entry, but the WASPs have gone to bed on that subject. “No you can not come in. We don’t care how much money you have and we damn sure don’t care if little John-John is the President. Screw you, get off my lawn and go home!”


Money doesn’t mean a thing, however breeding does. WASPs are extremely selective about whom they allow into their families. One bad marriage can sink a family both financially and socially. And rarely do they date/marry non-WASPs. So if your surname ends in a vowel or your family has the slightest “pothole” in its reputation, you might wanna consider going with an Italian or one of the other pale skinners because WASPs ain’t hearing you.


The benefit of dating non-WASP is it’s easier for them to understand the oppression (if any) you may have experienced especially in the Northeast. Example: Before moving to the Northeast, White people were White people. I was wrong. They are: Greek, Italian, Jewish, Irish, or some other White variation but they aren’t nor ever will be a WASP. An Italian or Irishmen may understand what it’s like to be shunned based on your ethnicity...which I find comical but that's another subject. I'm not saying they'll fully "get it" but they'll be more sympathetic and most likely have experienced some form of prejudice at least once. A WASP...not so much.

  


Dating a WASP takes linguistic skills, cunning dedication to detail, a repressed tongue and a vivid sense of self-worth. This is talent Cirque du Soleil would kill for!! When you’re dating a WASP you’re, in fact, dating his family…and by proxy, your family is dating his family. It’s a genetic gangbang where there are no clear victors until a male heir is born—trust me!


There are family functions, charity events, balls and more bullshit than I care to list. It makes my head spin just thinking about it. And if you mess up and marry “The Male Heir” you’re screwed! Your life will BE the family business, you are the key holders, your life will revolve around the family because he (your husband) was chosen to carry on the family name—any children you have will be “The Children” aka Eva. Your uterus belongs to the family…so give it up sista'!


 “But, Tracy, you’re Black and you married a WASP. What happened there?”


Greg wasn’t the oldest grandson however he was his Grandfathers’ favorite. When Greg decided not to go into politics, as he’d been groomed since birth, his parents cut him off without a cent. He worked his way through law school and was determined to make a living for himself. His first job was coaching football and he later went on to work at The White House. Damn the family!


Anyway, his Grandfather was dying and he passionately hated Greg’s younger brother, Howard (who'd stepped into Greg’s shoes as the name-carrier-person). Once Greg finished law school and got on with an NYC firm, his Grandfather freaked the family out: He snatched the family keys, along with all the family’s loot and estates, away from Howard, gave them to Greg, and died!


Oh there was hell to pay in WASPville!   


Since then, Greg has controlled everyone’s allowances and trust funds, which basically means he can do no wrong. If he wanted to marry a Black woman, they’d welcome her with open arms.


Only hiccup: Since Greg’s line was chosen to carry on the family name, he needs a son. Um, we don’t have a son…we have an Eva. This means, if we don’t have sons, everything goes to Howard’s oldest son, Gregory. Luckily, my Greg and Gregory are thick as mud and he has been raised around (charity work) Black/Ethnic people. That being said, if Greg has to turn over the family keys, they'll be in good hands. Gregory is a fantastic person and very socially conscience. And he, like his uncle Greg and namesake, loves sistas'!
 


I hope you understand the difference between dating a WASP vs Others. It’s a totally different world however if you love the guy and he genuinely loves you then all of the headaches are worth it. Please beware of the "Sneaky WASP"—the ones who just wanna taste of chocolate but then go home to Buffy. They’re out there, oh they’re out there!


 Quick Bit of Advice From Greg: WASPs do not flash logos nor do they wear fashion items made in China or other 3rd world countries. So, if you're hunting WASPs, leave the Baby Phat at home. He's just saying.....