Sitting in her kitchen, Shae wedged her leg between the table edge and her chest, and propped her chin on her knee. Her fingers toyed with a picture of Harley that she'd stolen from his office the last time that they'd been together. Behind her, a steak sizzled on the stove, and the comforting smell conjured memories of the one time that he'd cooked for her. He was a meat and potatoes man, and also a spontaneous dancer. He had bopped along to Steely Dan's "Peg," and complained that he would have to get a grill at her house to make a steak properly. However, that hadn't happened because she had substituted sex for a relationship that involved him keeping things at her place.

The kitchen door opened, and Shae's sister Zaria came in with half a dozen grocery bags. Shae's eyes widened. "Geez, Z. That's enough food for a family."

Zaria slung the bags on her little sister's tiny kitchen counter. She blew out a breath and rubbed sweat from her freckled nose. "Daddy gave me his card, so I got everything that you could possibly need. You want to go fill up your truck?"

"Not really."

Frowning, Zaria crossed to her sister and yanked the hoodie from Shae's head. "Get a grip. It's just tests. You don't know for sure that the cancer is back."

"They think I should cut off my other breast anyway, just in case."

"You'll live. Think about that." Zaria pulled her blond dreadlocks into a ponytail, then snatched the picture of Harley. "If he can't go there with you, then fuck him."

Shae sighed. She didn't know how far Harley would go for her because she was too scared to ask. "I haven't told him yet."

"Why?"

"You remember how it was with Kevin," Shae said of the boyfriend that she'd had going into her last surgery. "Daddy didn't like him, then there was always an argument about whether he was visiting too much or not enough. Sickness wears down relationships."

"It's a relationship now? I thought you swore me to silence because you were keeping Tattoo Dude in the closet."

"Yeah, well, I felt awful doing that, so I stopped calling him." Shae covered her face with her hands. "Now I miss him, but I can't drag him into this."

"He can't pick up a phone?" Zaria sucked her teeth. "Girl, you are wearing yourself down. Look at how skinny you've gotten." She pushed up the sleeve of Shae's hoodie and shook her sister's fragile wrist. "Skeleton. I'm kind of glad that you're eating red meat."

Shae glanced at the stove where her steak was cooking on low heat with a little onion. "I've been having cravings."

"Enjoy them. You know how Ma cooks, if you end up moving back home during recovery." Zaria squeezed her sister's shoulder. "See you next Thursday. Me and Lia will pick you up, and Val's going to meet us at the hospital after she drops Junior at daycare."

"Okay."

"You sure you don't want me to stay with you?"

"No, thanks." Shae waved her sister out the door, then went to the stove to get her steak. It slid onto a plate in a sizzling, steamy heap. Anxious for a mouthful, she didn't bother sitting down. Her knife cut into the flesh, and it ran red just as it had when Harley had cooked for her.

Shae piled onions on a slice, blew quickly, and shoved it in her mouth. The onions were sweet and soft like potatoes, and the meat was buttery. She moaned. A second slice was almost orgasmic. She devoured the steak, then wrapped her lips around the bone and picked off every tender remnant of meat with her teeth.
*****

Across town, Harley leaned back from working on his taxes and clutched his empty stomach. He'd been holed up in the office all day and suddenly had an urge for a big steak. "You don't need that," he muttered because he'd had the same craving last week and the week before, and had indulged both times. His heart would thank him to lay off, but he couldn't get meat off of his mind while he tried to finish his self-employment forms.

Half an hour later, the craving was so bad that he damn near had a hard-on. Harley called it quits for the night, and asked his friend and employee, Carlos, to close up. Starved for steak, he thought of going to a restaurant, but then he swerved into a grocery store parking lot.

Hunger shifted to a funny feeling that knotted Harley's stomach before he got to the store's meat case. He stopped dead in his tracks when he came to the end of an aisle and saw Shae standing in front of the steaks.

Hunger fled, and Harley broke out in a cold sweat. His mind reading curse was coming back. "Fuck!"

Unwilling to accept it, he retreated down the snacks aisle and tried to clear his mind. By the time he pushed away the thought of steak, he looked and saw that Shae was gone. To test himself, he wandered the back row of the store, then randomly turned down an aisle.

There she was, bundled up in a dark blue hoodie and looking at health and beauty products.

Shae looked up and saw Harley staring at her with a horrified expression on his face. She blinked and glanced at the shelf of condoms in front of her. "Oh! No, I'm not getting those for anybody. I'm here for those," she lied and pointed to the tampons on the other side of the aisle. Her period had been spotty at best since chemo, but he didn't need to know that, or that she was there for lube to use with a makeshift dildo. Her toy at home didn't have enough girth to represent him in a fantasy.

Lust flickered in Harley's veins, and though he couldn't read her thoughts word for word, he knew what was on her mind.

Something in his eyes rooted Shae to the spot when he stepped closer to her.

Harley looked into her hand basket and saw two steaks among other items. "You must be hungry."

"Cravings. Maybe I'm anemic."

"Maybe good old fashioned red meat just tastes real good."

Heat shimmered through Shae. "Maybe."

Harley was nearly a foot taller than her, so there was a lot to look at when she gave him the once over.

Shae licked her lips. He was just so thick. "What are you doing here? Didn't I see you at the dry cleaner last week?"

Harley swallowed hard. At the cleaners, he'd discovered that he didn't have any clothes to pick up. He'd thought that he was losing his mind, but apparently he'd been picking up on her thoughts. "I didn't see you."

"I was looking for something in my truck."

"Hiding out from me, you mean."

She flushed. "So you're stalking me as payback?"

"Maybe I just wanted to see you." He folded his tattooed arms over his blue t-shirt. "I haven't gotten a booty call in weeks."

"I've been busy."

"Doing what?"

"Tests." She laughed bitterly, thinking of her doctor's appointment next Thursday. "I'm back in school, remember?"

Harley peered at her. He got the feeling that she was lying, but he didn't know if that was mind reading or plain old instincts. "How about I take you to eat after class? You look like you're losing weight. How's Thursday?"

Shae stiffened. "I can't. I mean, I thought we didn't do that. No dating and no complications, right?"

"Yeah, right." He eyeballed her hand basket. Besides red meat, she had two big bags of fun size chocolate, a bottle of wine, and a cucumber. He pulled her favorite lube from the shelf and slung it in the basket. "See you at the video store. I'm sure they'll have Pretty Woman in stock."

Embarrassed, Shae was stymied for words. She tried to side-step him, but he cut in front of her.

For the first time in his life, Harley wanted to read someone's mind. However, he had neglected his empathic skills for so long that they didn't work on cue. He tried to pick up on Shae's feelings, but she was in denial about something, leaving him blocked out.

Harley sighed. "Look, I said yes to friends with benefits because I want you so bad that I can't stand it, even though I don't need a woman that I have to chase behind. I've been letting myself think that you'll come around. Is that gonna happen?"

Shae looked away from his blue flame gaze. "I don't know." Her eyes swam, and she gulped several breaths. She licked her lips to tell him what was going on, but the words wouldn't come out. Cancer. Mastectomy. Chemo. soon as she said them to him, they would be true. "I―ahem. I..." Shae's head started to spin, and she tried to breathe deeper. "I think I'm going to pass out." She reeled toward him.

Harley grabbed Shae and her basket before she hit the deck. "Who do I need to call? I'm taking you to the hospital."

"No. I'm fine," she lied. Only his hard arms kept her from tilting as the room seemed to be doing. "I just need a minute."

He held her close. "Don't be scared. I'll be there with you."

"No!" Shae shrugged him off and grabbed a shelf to steady herself. When he wasn't holding her, she felt like a balloon that had been let go. "You know what I don't need? A man who chases behind me, like you're going to catch me every time I fall. I don't think you do it on purpose, but you make me feel like I can't take care of myself, and I can't afford to be weak right now."

"Needing somebody doesn't make you weak."

Shae laughed. "Talking to you just turned my knees into water, Harley. You're too much for me."

"Don't say that." Her words inflamed his deeply ingrained fear of being a freak. He reached for her.

"No!" She shrank back, and they both straightened up when an elderly woman passed by with a grocery cart and a suspicious glance.

Pleading seeped into Harley's gaze. "Can we go somewhere and talk about this? Because I feel like you're about to give me my walking papers for all the wrong reasons."

Shae shook her head and sucked in air to catch her breath, but that only made her feel more lightheaded. Her chest tightened, and panic widened her eyes. "Oh God, I'm having a heart attack!"

"You're hyperventilating. Breathe less. Shae!" Harley grabbed her. "Purse your lips and breathe less."

She pursed her lips, but her lungs wouldn't stop pumping as fast as her heart. Her body kicked into a terrified overdrive, and tears sprang to her eyes.

Holding her around the waist, Harley spun her toward the store restroom. He swung her around the meat case and past several vending machines and discount bins. They hustled into a ladies' room that had one toilet instead of several stalls, thank God. Harley set her down on the toilet, then clamped his hand over her mouth and half of her nose.

Shae jerked away, fearful of being smothered.

"You need less oxygen. Trust me." He'd seen the same in his brother many times. "Calm down, and breathe less."

She nodded and might have managed to do as he asked, had Harley not kissed her sweaty forehead. The unexpected gentle gesture cracked the last of her resolve. She started crying, then she hyperventilated again.

"Quit." He grabbed a paper towel and pressed it to her face. In her ear in a low and soothing voice, he whispered, "Baby doll, please calm down, or you really are going to pass out. I don't want your pretty cheek to hit the floor of a public restroom. Do you?" He kissed her temple.

Shae's eyelashes fluttered open and shut with every feathery kiss that he put on her face. She relaxed a little, and so did her heart.

Her soothed mood ran through him like warm water. Harley stood up straight and tilted up her chin. "Purse your lips and breathe less. I'll be right back."

Mouth in a little oval, Shae watched him go. She tried to breathe slower and even held her breath for a little while.

Harley soon returned with a vending machine soda and a package of cheap plastic rope.

She raised a brow.

"Saw it in the discount bin." He grinned. "You're really gonna have to trust me on this one. Stand up." She did, and he took off her hoodie. "Hold your arms up, and drink this ginger ale. Your throat's gotta be dry." He popped the soda top.

Shae drank from the can, while she watched him tear open the rope. Several cold swallows cleared her head, but she couldn't figure out what Harley was doing when he doubled the rope around her waist and looped it in a slipknot. He did it again, and the plastic rope was tight against her diaphragm.

"It's a rope corset." He quickly looped the rope all the way up to the bottom of her breast. "Too tight?"

Shae shook her head. It felt incredible, as snug and comforting as being swaddled, and she certainly wasn't able to breathe too fast or too deeply.

Harley tied her into a full harness, over the shoulders and down between her legs.

She jumped when the rope pulled taut along the crotch seam of her pants. It didn't chafe, but it fit just tight enough to rub.

When he was finished, Harley put her enormous hoodie back on. It scraped the bottom of her butt. Zipped up, she was fully covered. "Now. Tell me what the hell is going on. I might make you weak in the knees, but you didn't just catch a fainting spell over me."

Shae's eyes widened. Her chest tried to go into overdrive, but couldn't in the confines of the rope corset.

Harley kissed her forehead then her ear. "Take little even breaths, and just whisper it to me. Trick yourself into not freaking out, Shae. Breathe in, breathe out, and say it."

She did, but the words didn't come.

Harley's kiss stole her breath. "Now breathe in and let it out."

Staring at him, Shae inhaled. "It's back. I think. I've been feeling off for weeks, and―" Her breath hitched, and her heart sped up. "And―"

He kissed her again with a steady wet suction. After she took a breath, his third kiss was a rhythmic tongue massage that she could breathe through. Harley grabbed the harness and pulled it taut.

Shae's hips jutted forward, and she rocked against the rope that he tightened and released between her thighs.

He broke the kiss with a bite on her lip. "And what?"

Cream soaked the seam of her pants. "They're going to run tests next Thursday, but my doctor wants me to have another mastectomy, no matter what."

"And?"

She moaned when he twisted her nipple. Shae shook her head against never feeling that sensation again. "I can't go through this again."

"You're gonna. Know why? I'm not letting you die on me, woman, if it can be prevented. I ain't had nearly enough of you yet." He pulled the rope against her pussy, quicker and harder than before. "Grind on it. I want to make you come."

Shae did as he asked, then gasped when he tucked his knuckle under the rope right over her clit. "Sss!"

"Here's what's going to happen. I'm taking you home in a minute, and we're gonna play house all week, until your doctor's appointment. I'm gonna be there, and hold your hand, and find out everything I need to know about what's going on. Then next weekend, I'm taking you to my friend's going away party, and we'll have so much fun that you're not going to freak out, unless some test results show that there is a bonafide reason to worry. Until then, you're not allowed to. Got it?"

Shae nodded, and tried to direct her energy to getting off. That was a much simpler goal than surviving breast cancer, and she appreciated his effort to help her think smaller.

Harley kissed her. "Until then, we're gonna make sweet, sweet love and eat a lot. And wear out this one titty, in case it's gotta go." He slapped her breast. "You hear me?" He slapped her breast harder.

She went liquid with lust. "Yes."

"Now I want you to come." He grabbed her ass and crowded her against the wall. "Better make it like jelly, baby, 'cause as soon as we get inside your front door, you're gonna get fucked. Then I'm gonna tie you down to your bed and fuck you again. Probably gagged so you don't disturb the neighbors, until I have time to soundproof your room."

Shae rocked her hips like a whore. His suggestion was so potent that spit filled her mouth.

"Just relentless, ridiculous sex. Do you want to?"

She nodded.

"Say the words."

"I want to, Harley. So bad." She bit her lip. "I want it right now."

"Want what?"

"Your dick."

He smiled. "Well you're gonna have to wait, and be a good girl. Good girls do what they're told. That means you need to come for me right now." His knuckle pushed her button. "Do it."

Shae started to shake. Every muscle in her body was clenched tight. She jerked against the rope and his hand, but that wasn't enough. "Please kiss me."

Harley bit down on her tongue, and tried to swallow it. She made a shrill choked sound of pain and pleasure when she came, a sound that turned him on so much, Harley almost pulled out his pocket knife and cut out the crotch of her pants. But that was what she wanted, and her lust was making his almost uncontrollable. He threw back his head and took a deep breath.

When he got a grip on himself, he grinned at her. "Was that better than fainting or what?"

-end-

(From a short story collection called "Ink & Kink For The Win," available at Get5OnIt.com)