Have you ever stumbled across an act in an erotic novel which has turned you off to the point where you stop reading or were compelled to pull up Google?

This was today’s topic of discussion with my fellow scribbler girlfriends. While my prowess for spinning a damn good oral scene goes unquestioned, my aversion to anal* and other fecal related acts have earned me the distinction of a prude. I make no apologies. There are acts I can’t get onboard with.

 

Let me expound…

 A man eating his own ‘man sauce’ from a woman’s naughty bit. Worse still, a man eating another man’s sauce. I’ve read this in a couple of novels and it left a bad taste in my mouth (no pun intended). I couldn’t shake the image and from that moment on I didn’t feel the couple. 

Nipple twisting and cooter slapping. Maybe it’s me but twisting my nipples will result in a homicide. I read a tale where the hero kept twisting the heroine’s nipples and slapping ‘the love below’ really hard! I had to put the book down and walk away. I’ve explored the whole cooter slapping bit in “Between His Sheets” but this was done by a trained professional. The hero in question was a layman. I kept thinking “Run Bitch! Damn the Gucci pumps! Get the hell out!”

Breaking wind (farting) during lovin’. There’s a whole fetish dedicated to eruptio gastro but I don’t get it. No matter how hot you are, passing gas isn’t sexy. It’s distracting. I’d be reaching for the Glade then reaching for the gun.

I’d like to hear what's caused you to pause. I’m pretty sure it’s some sick BS floating around out there.


*I can write anal scenes however they require lots of time, a glass of red wine, and copious amounts of Advil.