“Damn Desert Princess.” Matt Gardner, Charlie and Shawn’s workmate said aloud.


“What?” Shawn looked around the half deserted office.


“There,” he pointed to the stocky brunette Airmen making eyes at him. “The fat bitch.”


“Keep your voice down.” Charlie ordered from his workstation. He and Matt had their run-ins and there was no love lost between them.


They were equally matched in the looks department. Both were tall and charismatic, but where Charlie was reliable Matt was impish. Charlie was aware Matt enjoyed getting under his skin and rarely spoke to him unless absolutely necessary. Matt’s self-entitled attitude rode Charlie’s last nerve. He was too cocky for his own good and generally pissed off everyone lingering in his presence longer than thirty minutes. In the end rank spoke louder than their dislike for one another, in which case Charlie was the victor.


Matt walked over and leaned against Shawn’s desk. “What’s with him?”


“Like he said, keep your voice down.”


Matt was ready to have fun with both of them. “She’s nothing in the States, no man would look twice in her direction but here in the desert she walks around like she’s Princess Di. She’s probably banged half the men in Saudi.”


“Including you.” Shawn added.


Matt shrugged. “Yeah, so what.”


“Then you’re no better than she is.” Shawn placed his laptop in its locked cabinet. “It’s a matter of supply and demand. If you weren’t demanding it, she wouldn’t supply it.” He looked up at Matt with a curled lip. “Guys like you elevated her to what she is. She’s not the problem, you are.”


Matt tilted his head back with a short laugh. “If she’s willing, I’m able. I don’t pretend to be a choir boy,” he turned to Charlie. “But Charlie…”


Charlie cut him off. “Leave me out of it, Matt.”


“But Charlie,” Matt continued mockingly. “…is the perfect Airman: always on time, always working, always saying and doing the right thing, never taking the advances of women. He’s the only man I’ve seen swat away women; either he’s gay or pussy whipped.”


Charlie jaws twitched as he focused on his work. “Go to the happy place. Go to the happy place,” He repeated to himself, he wouldn’t give Matt the satisfaction of a reply.


“Seriously,” Shawn asserted firmly. “Watch your mouth.”


“That’s right! You don’t like white women.” Matt swung around to Charlie. “What’s it like on the dark side of town? I hear they’re fantastic in bed.”


Charlie placed his hands against his face in the pray position and fought his primal inclination to throw the first punch.


“What’s wrong choir boy? You’re upset?” Matt chuckled.


“No, I’m trying to decide where to hide your body.” Charlie said through his teeth.


“Alright. Let’s go.” Shawn pulled Matt away and pushed him out of the office.


“Thanks.” Charlie said.


“No problem. We have two more days left in this hell hole. The last thing either of us need is an Article 117 following us home.”


“Charlie laughed. “Just my luck they’d throw an Article 134 on top of it.”


Shawn frowned. “Article 134? For profanity?”


“I’d curse him out the entire time I’m whipping his ass!” Charlie said as they swung their bags over their shoulders.
“You and me both.” Shawn opened the door to leave. “Did Tony make it home?”


“Yeah, Paula said he arrived a few days ago,” Charlie took a lung full of perfumed air and looked around at the dull utilitarian building. “I can’t wait to be outta here.”


“Our replacements should’ve been here by now. Why the hell aren’t they here?”


“I don’t know. I’m hoping they’re being in-processed and not delayed in Germany,” Charlie’s feet seemed heavier than lead when he spoke of returning home. “I hope to hell we don’t get stuck pulling another month here. You know Shane and Harley are staying behind.”


“They’re crazy,” Shawn looked towards the dining hall. “You wanna grab something before we go back to the hooch?”


“Why not,” Charlie swung his bag strap over his neck like a planter and saluted a passing officer. “I need the caffeine. I have four SQL scripts to write for Tony and one for my mom.”


“I thought your mom was retiring.”


“Not until the end of next year. They’re grooming her replacement.”


“They have huge shoes to fill,” Shawn walked through the dining hall door and was hit by the familiar aroma of home and noise of bantering comrades. He and Charlie made their way to the buffet and loaded up their plates before finding a seat amongst the herd. He couldn’t help but notice Charlie’s distracted behavior. “What’s on your mind?” he shoveled a forkful of tortellini into his mouth.


“I’m tired.”


“No shit. We’re all tired. What’s going on with you? You and Paula alright?”


Charlie cracked a smile. “Yeah, we’re fine.”


“Oh my God,” Shawn’s eyes widened and he dropped his fork. “You’re gonna do it, aren’t you? You’re going to propose to her! When?”


“I’m asking the second I see her. I’m not waiting.”


Shawn took a sip of cola. “You shouldn’t wait anymore. How long have you two been together?”


“A little over two years.”


“Damn, time flies,” Out of the corner of his eye, Shawn saw Matt walk through the door. “Oh shit, let’s get out of here. I’m not looking for a fight.” He stood, took Charlie’s plate before he could finish another bite and dumped the contents in the trash can. “Let’s roll.” Before he could turn around with their bags, Charlie and Matt stood toe to toe; neither of them blinking. Shawn noted the officers in the room and pulled Charlie by his rear belt loop. “I said let’s roll.”


“What’s his problem with me?” Charlie asked once outside. “I haven’t done a damn thing. Hell, I barely talk to him. Why’s he always pushing me?”


“Are you kidding me?”


“No, I’m not kiddin’. I’m two seconds off his ass.”


“Calm down, cowboy,” Shawn blew a long sigh. “Your mom placed a morale call a few months ago and the operator announced her title and rank.”


“And let me guess…”


“Yeah, Matt took the call.” Shawn finished Charlie’s thought. “And he’s been giving you crap ever since then. You might wanna ask your mom to be a little more discreet next time.” Shawn laughed.


Charlie grinned. “Asking my momma to be discreet is equivalent to bear baiting.”


“I like your mom,” Shawn saluted a passing officer. “This is getting old. I’m ready to go home” he nudged Charlie. “Hey we have time to throw together another going away party. We can have it tomorrow night, recoup the day after and go home.”


“We’re out of liquor, remember? Tony’s party tapped us out.” Charlie pointed out as he unlocked the room door.


Shawn flung his bag on his bed. “I can make more liquor. All I need is a loaf of bread and a tin of shoe polish.”


“What the hell?” Charlie’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped, a bit bemused. “I’m not gonna ask what was in the last batch.”


“Trust me, you don’t wanna know. I can work miracles with potatoes” Shawn tossed his bag in one of the living area chairs. He watched Charlie fall face first on the sofa. “I’m certainly not gonna miss this place.”


“It’s better than most locations. Shit, we’re in a real room, not a tent.”


Shawn looked around their suite. Two separate bedrooms, a full kitchen and a common living area in shades of blue and tan with all the character and charm of an extended stay hotel. “Yeah, it’s not bad. Things could be worse. John has two suitemates.”


Charlie was half asleep when he felt Shawn tap his boot-clad foot.


“Wake up! Get the databases done. I don’t want you ruining the party with work.” He removed his BDU jacket, hung it in the closet and pulled the muddy brown tee shirt over his head sending his dog tag clinking against his chest. He kissed them.


Lethargically Charlie sat up. “Why do you kiss your tags?”


“For luck. The day that they’re separated, I’m dead.” Shawn said in all seriousness.


Charlie yawned, pulled off his BDU jacket and headed for the bathroom. “We have plenty of time to think about death. Tonight, I’m thinking about SQL and sleep.”


“So the party is on?” Shawn shouted to him.


“The party is on. Invite the same group of people as last time. No, new people. I wanna go home on time. If we get busted with alcohol, we’re screwed.” Charlie said





As always their replacements were late in arrival. The guys had less than twelve hours to bring them up to speed before their last shift. Charlie’s replacement was a stogy TSgt from North Carolina and Shawn’s was a cute little brown Sgt from California named Desiree who kept making eyes at him.


In a couple of hours they’d be cut loose to finish out-processing before gliding effortlessly into hedonism with the rest of the sinners. The guys from the chow hall supplied the food and drinks, the nurses provided the hookahs and tobacco, and the security police offered them cover in case outsiders came snoopy around.


“Charlie, put Desiree on the party list.” Shawn muttered through ventriloquist lips.


“What?” Charlie looked down the expanse of the office and saw Desiree talking with the wing commander. “Nah, we don’t know her. She could be trouble.”


Shawn plopped on Charlie’s desk. “Look, you dried up desecrated bran flake on toast; I need to get laid and if she’s giving it up then I’m taking it. I have one more full night where I’ll be theoretically sober and I plan on using the vast amount of that time in sexy nasty time with her.”


Charlie burst out laughing. “Holy shit! I think the lack of sex has finally gotten to you. Fine, he conceded. “But if she rats us out I’m killing you.”


Shawn smiled victorious. “She won’t rat us out. I’ll keep her busy….”


“I don’t wanna hear about it.”


“Hey,” John pushed Shawn off Charlie’s desk and took his seat. “What time are we getting started tonight?”