Failure and Inspiration
- By Tracy Ames
- Published February 20, 2011
Tracy Ames
Mrs. Ames is an international bestselling author of interracial erotic fiction and a former columnist for several newsletters and magazines.
A native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Tracy currently split time between CT & New York City with her husband, children and a host of pets.
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Reading Abigail’s blog post inspired me to write a few post about failure. In this fast pace, ever changing world, there seems to be five new ways to fail everyday.
Between the media pushing us towards unobtainable expectations of physical beauty, our children shoving boobie trapped piece of electronics in our face, and the chronic chatter of naysayers, our day is littered with psychological landmines…
….and frankly, it weakens our self-confidence and self-esteem to the point we lose ourselves and fear dreaming beyond what’s in front of us. Instead, we reach for the easily obtainable and/or what will bring us the least criticism.
That, my friends, is no way to live. In fact, it’s not living at all—it’s getting by. Letting go of one’s preconceived notions of self is difficult, but doing so in a fishbowl surrounded by critics is brutal...especially when you share DNA. Painful, yes...but essential for growth.
My creed: Doubters are always lurking in alleyways. Don't ignore them; acknowledge them and keep moving. Nothing pisses them off like indifference.
"But Tracy, you're fearless."
No the hell I'm not!! Just because I'm not paralyzed by fear doesn't mean I'm fearless.
My grandmother is the quintessential Southern matriarch: well educated, controls a tight knit family, married well, church going Eastern Star member, friend to all, enemy of none, patron of science at Tuskegee and Auburn University, she’s always done what was expected of her, and she's never closed the door on a stranger in need**.
With that said, my grandmother has a rebellious streak which we’ve inherited. We’re not burning down buildings, however, after much thought, we’re not afraid to try something new with full knowledge it may find little favor with others. In my grandmother’s case, this came in the forms of her participation in the Civil Rights Movement*, her friendship with Joseph Lister Hill, and her equal partnership in my grandfather and great-grandfather’s business. Remember, this is pre-civil rights Alabama.
A few years ago, we were talking about her past (one day I hope to publish) and she confided in me how frightened she was during various intervals in her life and how she kept going because she’d rather be unsuccessful than regret not trying.
That’s the ‘rebellious’ tick she’s given us. And that's the purpose of my ‘failure’ posts. In the end, if one person finds a drop of encouragement from my posts then my little project would have been a success.
Between the media pushing us towards unobtainable expectations of physical beauty, our children shoving boobie trapped piece of electronics in our face, and the chronic chatter of naysayers, our day is littered with psychological landmines…
….and frankly, it weakens our self-confidence and self-esteem to the point we lose ourselves and fear dreaming beyond what’s in front of us. Instead, we reach for the easily obtainable and/or what will bring us the least criticism.
That, my friends, is no way to live. In fact, it’s not living at all—it’s getting by. Letting go of one’s preconceived notions of self is difficult, but doing so in a fishbowl surrounded by critics is brutal...especially when you share DNA. Painful, yes...but essential for growth.
My creed: Doubters are always lurking in alleyways. Don't ignore them; acknowledge them and keep moving. Nothing pisses them off like indifference.
"But Tracy, you're fearless."
No the hell I'm not!! Just because I'm not paralyzed by fear doesn't mean I'm fearless.
My grandmother is the quintessential Southern matriarch: well educated, controls a tight knit family, married well, church going Eastern Star member, friend to all, enemy of none, patron of science at Tuskegee and Auburn University, she’s always done what was expected of her, and she's never closed the door on a stranger in need**.
With that said, my grandmother has a rebellious streak which we’ve inherited. We’re not burning down buildings, however, after much thought, we’re not afraid to try something new with full knowledge it may find little favor with others. In my grandmother’s case, this came in the forms of her participation in the Civil Rights Movement*, her friendship with Joseph Lister Hill, and her equal partnership in my grandfather and great-grandfather’s business. Remember, this is pre-civil rights Alabama.
A few years ago, we were talking about her past (one day I hope to publish) and she confided in me how frightened she was during various intervals in her life and how she kept going because she’d rather be unsuccessful than regret not trying.
That’s the ‘rebellious’ tick she’s given us. And that's the purpose of my ‘failure’ posts. In the end, if one person finds a drop of encouragement from my posts then my little project would have been a success.
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10 Responses to "Failure and Inspiration"
said this on 21 Feb 2011 2:53:10 PM CST
ok so You try to learn from whatever it happened, so could You write a story from all You don't pass threw like it is what You or "the personnage" could had choosen in this kind of unknown situation...
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said this on 21 Feb 2011 11:58:23 AM CST
That is great post...drawing on the courage of those who came before is an inspiration
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said this on 21 Feb 2011 12:10:14 PM CST
I drew my inspiration from your post. Can't say what triggered it but something clicked.
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said this on 21 Feb 2011 10:22:37 AM CST
This was such an awesome post, Tracy! You've inspired me today to push forward and to h*** with the naysayers. My grandmother is a Alabama native. She's one tough cookie with a heart of gold.
Thanks again for the post. |
said this on 21 Feb 2011 12:01:15 PM CST
Thanks Lady Bug! It sounds cliche but keep on moving...when crap hits the fan just keep on moving.
South women rock. They're extremely strong. My hat goes off to them. |
said this on 21 Feb 2011 7:49:43 AM CST
Great article TA. The thought of failure is a security blanket for so many but actually it’s impediment of growth. Yeah you’ll be safe and secure in your comfort zone with never trying, but living with the woulda, coulda, and shoulda would be too much or me
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said this on 21 Feb 2011 10:21:32 AM CST
Exactly! In hindsight, we all have taking chances the more mature us look at screaming "What was I thinking". Fail or succeed, we did it and it was an experience.
As we grow older, our security blanket becomes a cocoon (we'll call it the 'woulda, coulda, shoulda coccon'). Either we grow inside that cocoon and escape or we smother and die. |
said this on 21 Feb 2011 8:17:48 PM CST
Tracy: My creed - Doubters are always lurking in alleyways. Don't ignore them; acknowledge them and keep moving. Nothing pisses them off like indifference.
Hodan: that is a great line, I would like to borrow it if you don't mind. I agree failure or fear of it should never dictate the life we should live or the opportunities we should take on. Your grandmother sounds awesome, reminds me of mine and how courageous she was in a time and a land that gave little to women of her generation. |
said this on 21 Feb 2011 9:16:45 PM CST
Go right ahead and borrow it. It's better than someone quoting the dumb crap that comes out of my mouth. Which, funny enough, maybe a quote one day! lol! Blimey, I can't win for losing.
Our grandmothers deserve a big thank you. They went through hell for us. |
said this on 24 Feb 2011 1:03:33 PM CST
We all have self-doubt sometimes and fear to fail but a fear to fail is a fear to succeed. Lots of people failed before they succeeded. And you can't let fear dictate everything you do. I wrote a wonderful blog myself on my own blog about self doubt in an aspect of my life a week or so ago and how this wonderful man I love, Matt helped me overcome it. He's a darn good cheerleader. Self-doubt can test character and that's a good thing.
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