Sensitive Topic! You Have Been Warned!
- By Tracy Ames
- Published March 5, 2012
Tracy Ames
Mrs. Ames is an international bestselling author of interracial erotic fiction and a former columnist for several newsletters and magazines.
A native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Tracy currently split time between CT & New York City with her husband, children and a host of pets.
*NEWER* Leather & Lace Tumblr(NSFW)
*NEW* RR&R Tumblr (Safe)
Youtube
Facebook
Myspace
MAY BE DISTURBING TO SOME READERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Yesterday, we were discussing the alleged rape of gay pornstar Mason Wyler. In 2008, Wyler claims he was “held down with belts, duct tape and power cords, strangled, suffocated, held at gun point, drugged, pissed on, inseminated, and forcefully penetrated with a broomstick.” by at least three men, one of whom he identified as Danny Vanarro (not his real name), an Army Captain he met at a bar, and who subsequently returned Wyler’s lost wallet. The full account is below.
Wyler doesn’t claim to be an angel. Indeed, he is admittedly promiscuous, and dons the titles “King of Sluts” and “Cock Hungry Slut” with pride; still this doesn’t give anyone carte blanche to assault him….if his story is valid.
I say “if his story is valid” because Wyler provided damning evidence that says otherwise. And when it became apparent that the police reports were forged/compromised, and the images of his bruises were photoshoped, the initial cries for justice from the gay community became demands for proof of validity.
His staunch supporters attributed the gross discrepancies in his early interviews and his erratic behavior (joking around and posting parodies) as the effects of the lethal amount GHP Vanarro supposedly inserted in his rectum to subdue him.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was Wyler decision to wave prosecution without even so much as a mea culpa from his assailants. Now, given the amount of violence he allegedly suffered and the fact that he chose not to prosecute, one can’t help but question his motives.
According to The Gays of Daytime, "A couple of weeks ago, Wyler had posted what has been described as a 'rape fantasy' on his blog. To make matters worse members of his family and close friends believe this was publicity stunt contrived to coincide with the launch of Wyler’s website where he incessantly detailed the events of the attack—all of which have been deleted. When asked why he deleted the posts, Wyler economically replied that he was “Over it”.
What?!?! “Over it”!! If someone corn-holed me with a broom, getting over it wouldn’t be an option.
To throw another spanner in the works, Wyler stated he hadn’t any contact with Vanarro before that night. However, sound evidence proved he and Vanarro met online and discussed possible rape fantasies and scenarios. If Wyler is believed, speculations suggest this was a rape fantasy gone awry—which in my book amounts to rape. Consensual fantasy or not, the second someone says stop, that's it. Stop means stop...and no means no. Period. End of story!
With that in mind, the physical evidence, his bodily injuries or lack thereof undermined his accounts from the very beginning, authorities said. And in a shocking twist of fate, many once loyal advocacy groups agreed. Compared to Rihanna’s injuries, Wyler doesn’t look half bad for a man who was tortured and beaten for hours by three strapping Army vets. His eyes aren’t even puffy! He says he was straggled with a power chord but there aren’t any deep lacerations or pronounced bruising caused by blood collecting beneath the skin. And the authorities noted the absence of defense wounds on his hands and forearms Vanarro, a man described as 6’2”, 220lbs, would have inflicted.
As a rape survivor, I desperately want to believe him. But in the face of mounting evidence, I’m torn. And in 2010, Wyler announced he was HIV positive. Regrettably, this is also believed (and all but verified by his family) to be another publicity stunt. I don’t know what to think. Decide for yourself.
Below is a write-up, and one of Wyler’s blog posts from Queer Click.
MAY BE DISTURBING TO SOME READERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Rape Reality
ARMY CAPTAIN ACCUSED OF GANG RAPE
By Mason Wyler
October 6, 2008
Promiscuous veteran gay porn model claims decorated Iraq War Army captain brutally raped and tortured him with fellow soldiers.
HOUSTON, Texas - Houston Police arrested a 28-year old Army Captain Sunday in connection with a West Houston home invasion from a previous night during which the intruders allegedly raped a man at gunpoint.
Danny Vanarro (not his real name), an Army Captain who served in Iraq, was charged with home invasion, robbery with a firearm, and sexual battery by multiple perpetrators, the Harris County Sheriff's Office reported.
According to a police statement the victim, aged 24, is a sex worker in the gay porn industry known as Mason Wyler. The statement reports that Wyler lost his wallet the night before at a local bar which was eventually found and returned by the Army Captain.
Upon entry of the victim's residence, Vanarro asked Wyler for the reward that was advertised Wyler's MySpace online page. Wyler then gave Vanarro a kiss on the mouth. The accused immediately grabbed Wyler by the neck, dragged him into the kitchen, and demanded money for the return of the wallet. Wyler told the aggressor that he didn't have any cash on him but would go to an ATM and withdraw some. Vanarro became agitated by his response and punched Wyler in the face, knocking him unconscious for a few moments.
Thats when Vanarro pulled out a M9 Pistol and reportedly threatened Wyler's life. The accused then began punching and kicking the victim while he was crying on the ground, police said.
The adult film star was also forced to take off all his clothes and perform oral sex on the Army Captain. Eventually Wyler was immobilized, gagged, and blindfolded with belts and duct tape. Through out the whole ordeal Vanarro supposedly sodomized the victim repeatedly with a broom stick, anally and orally raped the victim while strangling him with a power cord, made the 24-year old drink urine, and brutally beat him.
Wyler also claims that Vanarro inserted the illicit drug GHB into the victims anus to subdue him which left his memory of the incident hazy. The drug test came back positive.
After a few hours Vanarro made a call to invite over some accomplices. AT&T wireless is working with the Harris County Sheriff's office to retrieve Vanarro's call records for the night.
Wyler was then taken into the bedroom, where he was sexually assaulted by at least two other attackers. There identities are still unknown.
After the rapes, the alleged perpetrators went into the bathroom to shower while the victim managed to untie himself and escape to a nearby home, where the occupants called 911. The accused were able to get away before police arrived on the scene but ironically investigators found that Vanarro had left his own wallet behind.
Wyler was taken to Ben Taub Hospital in the Texas Medical Center, where a sexual assault exam was performed. His clothing was collected and was processed at the Sheriff's Office DNA lab.
The Sheriff's Office sent the material for DNA tests to the Houston PD Crime Lab.
DNA test results from the semen samples collected from the inside of Wyler's anal canal and rectum confirmed that there were at least three different assailants although most of the genetic fluid was from Vanarro.
After results came back with a match for Vanarro, a judge ordered that he be detained at the Harris County Jail with bail set at $15,000.
"There's a good chance he'll be charged as a civilian because the nature of the crime warrants consideration to be charged as a civilian," Chief Assistant State Attorney Jason Ashberry said.
"The case won't be about proving that Mr. Vanarro had anal intercourse with Mr. Wyler, the DNA tests speak for themselves, the case will ultimately be about whether or not it was consensual sex or rape", he added.
Vanarro, if convicted, is facing a mandatory 10-year sentence and up to life in prison.
Captain Danny Vanarro hasn't answered any questions from reporters and only had this to say, "He was begging for it."
And here's Wyler's second blog entry, a more direct and visceral recount of the event and it's aftermath:
Rape Reality Part 2: The Truth
The truth is I did get raped by a guy who claimed to be a Captain in the U.S. Army. And the truth is I did invite him into my home. He was attractive and he looked normal. I guess thats incredibly stupid of me to judge someones character based solely on appearances. But I trust people on day one until they lose it instead of making people earn my trust. We had a bit of small talk, he told me that he was gay, and that he had seen some of my work and kept up with my myspace page. In a joking manner he asked for his reward for finding my wallet and I did come on to him. I kissed him and he kissed me back. But within a few short moments things quickly turned ugly. All the sexual abuses that I listed in my faux news report truthfully happened to me.
Truthfully for the first few hours of the attack I fought back and I fought back hard, I assume that since he was a big strong army guy that he thought it was going to be easy to over power me and get me under control, but I sure as hell surprised him. When he pulled out the gun it scared me shitless and I stopped fighting for a few a bit but then I figured I really was going to die and if that were the case then I'd rather go out fighting instead of being some blubbering victim.
So I started to struggle against him once more. I seriously bit a chunk of flesh out of his upper chest trying to wrestle him off of me, I also tried gouging his eyes out but every attempt I made to break free from him failed.
I was beaten and strangled to the point that I passed out numerous times during the night, each time I came to he was either fucking me or tying me up with whatever he could find. I ended up getting my wrists and ankles tied behind my back, and attached to a belt that was wrapped around my neck so that if I struggled I would end up just strangling myself.
I was screaming for help so loud that he ended up not only blindfolding me but taping my mouth shut. I almost had a helmet of duct tape covering my face and at one point I thought I was going to suffocate to death. When he noticed that I couldn't breath, he took the tape off of my nose, maybe he just wanted me to be alive and in pain while he raped me, I don't know.
Through out the night he kept telling me what some of you have told me, that I wanted it and deserved it for being a whore. The truth is he almost pushed me into believing it. I mean if he had contacted me before coming over, sent me his pictures and told me he wanted to fuck me, instead of being the one who found my wallet, I probably would of invited him over just to get his dick in me. Either way I still would have probably been beaten and raped. But thinking like that made me feel as though I deserved it.
The truth is, I'll admit, that my mind is pretty fucked up. I'll admit that I my sexual promiscuity has put myself at risk countless times and until the other night I have been pretty lucky. I'll admit that I am a slut who has some pretty sick fantasies at times BUT this twisted fantasy was always meant to be just that, a fantasy, I never wanted it to become a reality. Just because someone is a slut who talks dirty doesn't give anyone the right to abuse that person.
The truth is that the rapist did call over some friends to use me once he had gotten his fill of me. By then the drugs (which I was unaware that he had injected me with at the time) had already taken affect and I was much more subdued and mellow. My muscles started to go limp, including my ass, which the gang of murderers and rapists interpreted as me wanting more cock up my hole. If I could of shit on them I would of.
The truth is that they did shower and leave as I escaped. My first instinct was to yell at my neighbors because I know they were home and I KNOW they could hear me screaming for help through the walls. AND YET LIKE MOST FUCKING AMERICANS, THEY DID NOTHING. Some people are so afraid to get involved in other peoples lives when they need it most. You always read those horror stories of kids getting raped in apartment complexes where the neighbors hear it but don't call the cops.. then act all shocked when they find out exactly what was going on... I was sickened to hear that and ENRAGED when it happened to me.
The truth is I did call the police after I escaped. Six of them showed up, Four of them were ex-military, and all of them were assholes. The FIRST thing they asked was, "Have you been doing any illegal substances or drinking?" and keep in mind they knew why they were called over.
I said no.
My blood was pumping, mind racing,I was going nuts, and I had no idea that the guy had squirted GHB into my asshole. I just thought he wanted to get my insides wet, hell he shoved ice cubes up in me. I think the bastard just got off seeing me squirm in pain. As hard as it is for some of you to believe, I have NEVER done any drugs other than marijuana, which I don't consider a drug anyway. So I didn't know that the effects I was feeling was from a drug and not from getting knocked around and choked so many times.
They took my answer with a grain of salt.
I wrote the article because its the way my case should of been handled when the police arrived, the way I wish it was handled. They should done an initial thorough search and found certain items that I found later. They shouldn't have laughed at, They should of taken this accusation seriously and involved people with more power. Instead I was treated with a great deal of skepticism much like some of the posters have treated me. Right from the start I felt like I was the one who committed the crime. They all had looks of doubt. "Come on, you love sex...and with a guy in the military, thats like a dream come true for you, just admit it you sick fagot and stop wasting our time", is what I'm sure they were thinking.
I'm not your average joe in terms of personality, I can't shut up under normal circumstances and last night I couldn't stop talking for the life of me, it might have been the drugs that were forced into my body or it might have been the sudden adrenaline rush I was feeling after I escaped, but either way I couldn't shut up, which led the cops to believe I was just a cracked out fagot that wanted it and was just freaking out.
Like some of you have said, rape victims have a hard time talking about their situation with loved ones and friends, let alone a public forum BUT FUCK THAT. I want everyone out there to know that there are some sick fucks in all types of uniforms and to be cautious. I told my neighbors, the cops, my friends, my mother, my brother, the nurses at the hospital, the lady at the front desk that asked what happened, and any body else who stared at my fucked up face. Screw being ashamed and quiet about it. I was kind of proud that I gave a guy who was almost 6'2" and probably 220 lbs a pretty good fight. AND yes I know thats pretty fucked up that a slut who just got raped is proud and I'm sure the cops were thinking the same thing.
It probably didn't help that I had copies of my porn laying all over the house when they came in to collect evidence. And it probably didn't help that I didn't follow their orders to just sit down and not to walk around to keep me from smudging any finger prints the rapist may have left behind. And I sure as hell didn't help when I made a whole bunch of nasty comments about people in the armed forces, I was pissed off and couldn't help it. SERIOUSLY, I didn't know there was a certain way you're suppose to act after you get raped. Do they offer a rape victims etiquette class? I should probably take it. I'm surprised there aren't more insane crazy rape victims out there, because I'm seriously about to go off my rocker!
The cops were serious assholes though, while two of the investigators were busy finger printing my whole house, the other four were holding me hostage in my living room. "JUST SIT THERE SIR, WE DON'T WANT YOU CONTAMINATING EVIDENCE", one pig oinked. "Uh. I need to take a piss", I said. "Well they haven't collected evidence from the bathroom yet and you might have some of their DNA on you so you probably shouldn't do anything until we get to the hospital", the asshole in blue said. I seriously wanted to yell, "THE DNA IS IN MY ASSHOLE YOU FUCKING PIG!" But I was at least able to keep that to myself.
I kept asking them, "I'm sure you will get a DNA match after my exam, why on earth do you need to take all my stuff?" to which they replied "We just just have to"... "We just have to?" thats not a very good reason. On top of that they things that had nothing to do with the case, like my main computer, my cell phone, and my clothes, the clothes that I had on when the guy came over and just random clothes on the floor. One pig told me that once the stuff becomes evidence, I'd probably never get them back, and the stupid fucking piece of shit chuckled, like it was funny.
Two of the cops were talking about rough sex with their wives and how they have to pin them down... not saying they're rapists.. just saying that talking about rough sex at a rape scene.... WOW... seriously?
After they collected my statement and "evidence" they took me to the shittiest hospital in a city that has the worlds best medical center... where I got to wait, then wait some more, and wait some more. Then finally after 5 hours of waiting along side hobo's, hookers, and heroine addicts I was finally put in a room where I got wait another hour for a fucking rape kit, a medical exam that took about 15 minutes to complete. And just to put icing on the cake was handed a medical bill for the exam, $100. LOVELY.
The police then took me to give my statement to a detective, a bitch detective that kept questioning whether or not it was consensual and if I was SURE about pressing charges. She kept saying it won't be a matter of proving he was at your place, just a matter of proving it was rape. When they were finally done belittling me they handed me a card with a case number on the back, "Call if you want to press charges", they said - the number on the front was the number for the traffic violations office. WOW THEY REALLY DO CARE.
When I finally got home I found my walls, carpet, and furniture covered in black finger print dust not to mention the drops of blood spattered across the floor. Not one of the drops of the blood looked as if they had been swabbed for samples... something I thought the police would want to match with the DNA taken from my hole. And upon further investigation I found something even more startling... the tape and papers used to collect finger prints.. all of it containing the assholes finger prints were crumpled up and thrown into my trash can. I also found the fuckers wallet.
For those of you who seem to be genuinely worried about me, don't be, I'll be fine, I was already pretty messed up before this so maybe this will make me less of a stupid slut. Maybe this will get me to quit doing porn and try incredibly hard at a normal lifestyle.
I checked myself into a hotel room because I couldn't stand to be in that house alone. It wreaked of sweat, piss, and rapist cum. I have been sitting here ever since, playing the events over and over in my head, thinking about what he did to me, trying to figure out what I should do about it, planning my revenge, and then I wrote that article. Like I said earlier, the report was written by me but the crime reported in it is fact. The only things that aren't fact are the names and what the police did and said. It was only how I wished the police department would of handled it.
The truth is, no he hasn't been arrested because the police don't know who he is. I didn't hand his wallet in to the police, and I don't think I will. I just don't see them helping me. And no, I'm not sure I want to press charges because I don't think I can win the case. I don't want my whole private sex life to be dragged out in court and in front of my family. I'd rather get revenge and let that be my justice. I just need to find out who the other guys were.
I'm done trying to prove that I'm telling the truth, if you don't believe me then FUCK you and quit reading my blog. LIKE RIGHT NOW. JUST CLICK THE X. I usually welcome people's criticisms and differing opinions.. but this isn't about your opinion... its about my health and well-being. I WRITE BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER. Is that pathetic to you??? THEN GO FUCK YOURSELF!
For those of you who are truly my fans and friends, please excuse my erratic behavior. I'm a mess right now.
I've been writing and talking about it to whoever will listen, hoping to write and talk about it so much that I have nothing left to say about it and can hopefully move on.
A few last words:
*FUCK THE TROOPS. THE IRAQ WAR IS BULLSHIT AND IF YOU FUCKING THINK THEY'RE OVER THERE FIGHTING FOR OUR FREEDOM THEN YOU ARE AS FUCKING STUPID AS THEY COME AND YOU SHOULD FUCKING DIE. I'M NOT SAYING ALL TROOPS ARE RAPIST. I JUST HATE THEM RIGHT NOW.
THE END
As I said, I'm torn.
Yesterday, we were discussing the alleged rape of gay pornstar Mason Wyler. In 2008, Wyler claims he was “held down with belts, duct tape and power cords, strangled, suffocated, held at gun point, drugged, pissed on, inseminated, and forcefully penetrated with a broomstick.” by at least three men, one of whom he identified as Danny Vanarro (not his real name), an Army Captain he met at a bar, and who subsequently returned Wyler’s lost wallet. The full account is below.
Wyler doesn’t claim to be an angel. Indeed, he is admittedly promiscuous, and dons the titles “King of Sluts” and “Cock Hungry Slut” with pride; still this doesn’t give anyone carte blanche to assault him….if his story is valid.
I say “if his story is valid” because Wyler provided damning evidence that says otherwise. And when it became apparent that the police reports were forged/compromised, and the images of his bruises were photoshoped, the initial cries for justice from the gay community became demands for proof of validity.
His staunch supporters attributed the gross discrepancies in his early interviews and his erratic behavior (joking around and posting parodies) as the effects of the lethal amount GHP Vanarro supposedly inserted in his rectum to subdue him.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was Wyler decision to wave prosecution without even so much as a mea culpa from his assailants. Now, given the amount of violence he allegedly suffered and the fact that he chose not to prosecute, one can’t help but question his motives.
According to The Gays of Daytime, "A couple of weeks ago, Wyler had posted what has been described as a 'rape fantasy' on his blog. To make matters worse members of his family and close friends believe this was publicity stunt contrived to coincide with the launch of Wyler’s website where he incessantly detailed the events of the attack—all of which have been deleted. When asked why he deleted the posts, Wyler economically replied that he was “Over it”.
What?!?! “Over it”!! If someone corn-holed me with a broom, getting over it wouldn’t be an option.
To throw another spanner in the works, Wyler stated he hadn’t any contact with Vanarro before that night. However, sound evidence proved he and Vanarro met online and discussed possible rape fantasies and scenarios. If Wyler is believed, speculations suggest this was a rape fantasy gone awry—which in my book amounts to rape. Consensual fantasy or not, the second someone says stop, that's it. Stop means stop...and no means no. Period. End of story!
With that in mind, the physical evidence, his bodily injuries or lack thereof undermined his accounts from the very beginning, authorities said. And in a shocking twist of fate, many once loyal advocacy groups agreed. Compared to Rihanna’s injuries, Wyler doesn’t look half bad for a man who was tortured and beaten for hours by three strapping Army vets. His eyes aren’t even puffy! He says he was straggled with a power chord but there aren’t any deep lacerations or pronounced bruising caused by blood collecting beneath the skin. And the authorities noted the absence of defense wounds on his hands and forearms Vanarro, a man described as 6’2”, 220lbs, would have inflicted.
As a rape survivor, I desperately want to believe him. But in the face of mounting evidence, I’m torn. And in 2010, Wyler announced he was HIV positive. Regrettably, this is also believed (and all but verified by his family) to be another publicity stunt. I don’t know what to think. Decide for yourself.
Below is a write-up, and one of Wyler’s blog posts from Queer Click.
MAY BE DISTURBING TO SOME READERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Rape Reality
ARMY CAPTAIN ACCUSED OF GANG RAPE
By Mason Wyler
October 6, 2008
Promiscuous veteran gay porn model claims decorated Iraq War Army captain brutally raped and tortured him with fellow soldiers.
HOUSTON, Texas - Houston Police arrested a 28-year old Army Captain Sunday in connection with a West Houston home invasion from a previous night during which the intruders allegedly raped a man at gunpoint.
Danny Vanarro (not his real name), an Army Captain who served in Iraq, was charged with home invasion, robbery with a firearm, and sexual battery by multiple perpetrators, the Harris County Sheriff's Office reported.
According to a police statement the victim, aged 24, is a sex worker in the gay porn industry known as Mason Wyler. The statement reports that Wyler lost his wallet the night before at a local bar which was eventually found and returned by the Army Captain.
Upon entry of the victim's residence, Vanarro asked Wyler for the reward that was advertised Wyler's MySpace online page. Wyler then gave Vanarro a kiss on the mouth. The accused immediately grabbed Wyler by the neck, dragged him into the kitchen, and demanded money for the return of the wallet. Wyler told the aggressor that he didn't have any cash on him but would go to an ATM and withdraw some. Vanarro became agitated by his response and punched Wyler in the face, knocking him unconscious for a few moments.
Thats when Vanarro pulled out a M9 Pistol and reportedly threatened Wyler's life. The accused then began punching and kicking the victim while he was crying on the ground, police said.
The adult film star was also forced to take off all his clothes and perform oral sex on the Army Captain. Eventually Wyler was immobilized, gagged, and blindfolded with belts and duct tape. Through out the whole ordeal Vanarro supposedly sodomized the victim repeatedly with a broom stick, anally and orally raped the victim while strangling him with a power cord, made the 24-year old drink urine, and brutally beat him.
Wyler also claims that Vanarro inserted the illicit drug GHB into the victims anus to subdue him which left his memory of the incident hazy. The drug test came back positive.
After a few hours Vanarro made a call to invite over some accomplices. AT&T wireless is working with the Harris County Sheriff's office to retrieve Vanarro's call records for the night.
Wyler was then taken into the bedroom, where he was sexually assaulted by at least two other attackers. There identities are still unknown.
After the rapes, the alleged perpetrators went into the bathroom to shower while the victim managed to untie himself and escape to a nearby home, where the occupants called 911. The accused were able to get away before police arrived on the scene but ironically investigators found that Vanarro had left his own wallet behind.
Wyler was taken to Ben Taub Hospital in the Texas Medical Center, where a sexual assault exam was performed. His clothing was collected and was processed at the Sheriff's Office DNA lab.
The Sheriff's Office sent the material for DNA tests to the Houston PD Crime Lab.
DNA test results from the semen samples collected from the inside of Wyler's anal canal and rectum confirmed that there were at least three different assailants although most of the genetic fluid was from Vanarro.
After results came back with a match for Vanarro, a judge ordered that he be detained at the Harris County Jail with bail set at $15,000.
"There's a good chance he'll be charged as a civilian because the nature of the crime warrants consideration to be charged as a civilian," Chief Assistant State Attorney Jason Ashberry said.
"The case won't be about proving that Mr. Vanarro had anal intercourse with Mr. Wyler, the DNA tests speak for themselves, the case will ultimately be about whether or not it was consensual sex or rape", he added.
Vanarro, if convicted, is facing a mandatory 10-year sentence and up to life in prison.
Captain Danny Vanarro hasn't answered any questions from reporters and only had this to say, "He was begging for it."
And here's Wyler's second blog entry, a more direct and visceral recount of the event and it's aftermath:
Rape Reality Part 2: The Truth
The truth is I did get raped by a guy who claimed to be a Captain in the U.S. Army. And the truth is I did invite him into my home. He was attractive and he looked normal. I guess thats incredibly stupid of me to judge someones character based solely on appearances. But I trust people on day one until they lose it instead of making people earn my trust. We had a bit of small talk, he told me that he was gay, and that he had seen some of my work and kept up with my myspace page. In a joking manner he asked for his reward for finding my wallet and I did come on to him. I kissed him and he kissed me back. But within a few short moments things quickly turned ugly. All the sexual abuses that I listed in my faux news report truthfully happened to me.
Truthfully for the first few hours of the attack I fought back and I fought back hard, I assume that since he was a big strong army guy that he thought it was going to be easy to over power me and get me under control, but I sure as hell surprised him. When he pulled out the gun it scared me shitless and I stopped fighting for a few a bit but then I figured I really was going to die and if that were the case then I'd rather go out fighting instead of being some blubbering victim.
So I started to struggle against him once more. I seriously bit a chunk of flesh out of his upper chest trying to wrestle him off of me, I also tried gouging his eyes out but every attempt I made to break free from him failed.
I was beaten and strangled to the point that I passed out numerous times during the night, each time I came to he was either fucking me or tying me up with whatever he could find. I ended up getting my wrists and ankles tied behind my back, and attached to a belt that was wrapped around my neck so that if I struggled I would end up just strangling myself.
I was screaming for help so loud that he ended up not only blindfolding me but taping my mouth shut. I almost had a helmet of duct tape covering my face and at one point I thought I was going to suffocate to death. When he noticed that I couldn't breath, he took the tape off of my nose, maybe he just wanted me to be alive and in pain while he raped me, I don't know.
Through out the night he kept telling me what some of you have told me, that I wanted it and deserved it for being a whore. The truth is he almost pushed me into believing it. I mean if he had contacted me before coming over, sent me his pictures and told me he wanted to fuck me, instead of being the one who found my wallet, I probably would of invited him over just to get his dick in me. Either way I still would have probably been beaten and raped. But thinking like that made me feel as though I deserved it.
The truth is, I'll admit, that my mind is pretty fucked up. I'll admit that I my sexual promiscuity has put myself at risk countless times and until the other night I have been pretty lucky. I'll admit that I am a slut who has some pretty sick fantasies at times BUT this twisted fantasy was always meant to be just that, a fantasy, I never wanted it to become a reality. Just because someone is a slut who talks dirty doesn't give anyone the right to abuse that person.
The truth is that the rapist did call over some friends to use me once he had gotten his fill of me. By then the drugs (which I was unaware that he had injected me with at the time) had already taken affect and I was much more subdued and mellow. My muscles started to go limp, including my ass, which the gang of murderers and rapists interpreted as me wanting more cock up my hole. If I could of shit on them I would of.
The truth is that they did shower and leave as I escaped. My first instinct was to yell at my neighbors because I know they were home and I KNOW they could hear me screaming for help through the walls. AND YET LIKE MOST FUCKING AMERICANS, THEY DID NOTHING. Some people are so afraid to get involved in other peoples lives when they need it most. You always read those horror stories of kids getting raped in apartment complexes where the neighbors hear it but don't call the cops.. then act all shocked when they find out exactly what was going on... I was sickened to hear that and ENRAGED when it happened to me.
The truth is I did call the police after I escaped. Six of them showed up, Four of them were ex-military, and all of them were assholes. The FIRST thing they asked was, "Have you been doing any illegal substances or drinking?" and keep in mind they knew why they were called over.
I said no.
My blood was pumping, mind racing,I was going nuts, and I had no idea that the guy had squirted GHB into my asshole. I just thought he wanted to get my insides wet, hell he shoved ice cubes up in me. I think the bastard just got off seeing me squirm in pain. As hard as it is for some of you to believe, I have NEVER done any drugs other than marijuana, which I don't consider a drug anyway. So I didn't know that the effects I was feeling was from a drug and not from getting knocked around and choked so many times.
They took my answer with a grain of salt.
I wrote the article because its the way my case should of been handled when the police arrived, the way I wish it was handled. They should done an initial thorough search and found certain items that I found later. They shouldn't have laughed at, They should of taken this accusation seriously and involved people with more power. Instead I was treated with a great deal of skepticism much like some of the posters have treated me. Right from the start I felt like I was the one who committed the crime. They all had looks of doubt. "Come on, you love sex...and with a guy in the military, thats like a dream come true for you, just admit it you sick fagot and stop wasting our time", is what I'm sure they were thinking.
I'm not your average joe in terms of personality, I can't shut up under normal circumstances and last night I couldn't stop talking for the life of me, it might have been the drugs that were forced into my body or it might have been the sudden adrenaline rush I was feeling after I escaped, but either way I couldn't shut up, which led the cops to believe I was just a cracked out fagot that wanted it and was just freaking out.
Like some of you have said, rape victims have a hard time talking about their situation with loved ones and friends, let alone a public forum BUT FUCK THAT. I want everyone out there to know that there are some sick fucks in all types of uniforms and to be cautious. I told my neighbors, the cops, my friends, my mother, my brother, the nurses at the hospital, the lady at the front desk that asked what happened, and any body else who stared at my fucked up face. Screw being ashamed and quiet about it. I was kind of proud that I gave a guy who was almost 6'2" and probably 220 lbs a pretty good fight. AND yes I know thats pretty fucked up that a slut who just got raped is proud and I'm sure the cops were thinking the same thing.
It probably didn't help that I had copies of my porn laying all over the house when they came in to collect evidence. And it probably didn't help that I didn't follow their orders to just sit down and not to walk around to keep me from smudging any finger prints the rapist may have left behind. And I sure as hell didn't help when I made a whole bunch of nasty comments about people in the armed forces, I was pissed off and couldn't help it. SERIOUSLY, I didn't know there was a certain way you're suppose to act after you get raped. Do they offer a rape victims etiquette class? I should probably take it. I'm surprised there aren't more insane crazy rape victims out there, because I'm seriously about to go off my rocker!
The cops were serious assholes though, while two of the investigators were busy finger printing my whole house, the other four were holding me hostage in my living room. "JUST SIT THERE SIR, WE DON'T WANT YOU CONTAMINATING EVIDENCE", one pig oinked. "Uh. I need to take a piss", I said. "Well they haven't collected evidence from the bathroom yet and you might have some of their DNA on you so you probably shouldn't do anything until we get to the hospital", the asshole in blue said. I seriously wanted to yell, "THE DNA IS IN MY ASSHOLE YOU FUCKING PIG!" But I was at least able to keep that to myself.
I kept asking them, "I'm sure you will get a DNA match after my exam, why on earth do you need to take all my stuff?" to which they replied "We just just have to"... "We just have to?" thats not a very good reason. On top of that they things that had nothing to do with the case, like my main computer, my cell phone, and my clothes, the clothes that I had on when the guy came over and just random clothes on the floor. One pig told me that once the stuff becomes evidence, I'd probably never get them back, and the stupid fucking piece of shit chuckled, like it was funny.
Two of the cops were talking about rough sex with their wives and how they have to pin them down... not saying they're rapists.. just saying that talking about rough sex at a rape scene.... WOW... seriously?
After they collected my statement and "evidence" they took me to the shittiest hospital in a city that has the worlds best medical center... where I got to wait, then wait some more, and wait some more. Then finally after 5 hours of waiting along side hobo's, hookers, and heroine addicts I was finally put in a room where I got wait another hour for a fucking rape kit, a medical exam that took about 15 minutes to complete. And just to put icing on the cake was handed a medical bill for the exam, $100. LOVELY.
The police then took me to give my statement to a detective, a bitch detective that kept questioning whether or not it was consensual and if I was SURE about pressing charges. She kept saying it won't be a matter of proving he was at your place, just a matter of proving it was rape. When they were finally done belittling me they handed me a card with a case number on the back, "Call if you want to press charges", they said - the number on the front was the number for the traffic violations office. WOW THEY REALLY DO CARE.
When I finally got home I found my walls, carpet, and furniture covered in black finger print dust not to mention the drops of blood spattered across the floor. Not one of the drops of the blood looked as if they had been swabbed for samples... something I thought the police would want to match with the DNA taken from my hole. And upon further investigation I found something even more startling... the tape and papers used to collect finger prints.. all of it containing the assholes finger prints were crumpled up and thrown into my trash can. I also found the fuckers wallet.
For those of you who seem to be genuinely worried about me, don't be, I'll be fine, I was already pretty messed up before this so maybe this will make me less of a stupid slut. Maybe this will get me to quit doing porn and try incredibly hard at a normal lifestyle.
I checked myself into a hotel room because I couldn't stand to be in that house alone. It wreaked of sweat, piss, and rapist cum. I have been sitting here ever since, playing the events over and over in my head, thinking about what he did to me, trying to figure out what I should do about it, planning my revenge, and then I wrote that article. Like I said earlier, the report was written by me but the crime reported in it is fact. The only things that aren't fact are the names and what the police did and said. It was only how I wished the police department would of handled it.
The truth is, no he hasn't been arrested because the police don't know who he is. I didn't hand his wallet in to the police, and I don't think I will. I just don't see them helping me. And no, I'm not sure I want to press charges because I don't think I can win the case. I don't want my whole private sex life to be dragged out in court and in front of my family. I'd rather get revenge and let that be my justice. I just need to find out who the other guys were.
I'm done trying to prove that I'm telling the truth, if you don't believe me then FUCK you and quit reading my blog. LIKE RIGHT NOW. JUST CLICK THE X. I usually welcome people's criticisms and differing opinions.. but this isn't about your opinion... its about my health and well-being. I WRITE BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER. Is that pathetic to you??? THEN GO FUCK YOURSELF!
For those of you who are truly my fans and friends, please excuse my erratic behavior. I'm a mess right now.
I've been writing and talking about it to whoever will listen, hoping to write and talk about it so much that I have nothing left to say about it and can hopefully move on.
A few last words:
*FUCK THE TROOPS. THE IRAQ WAR IS BULLSHIT AND IF YOU FUCKING THINK THEY'RE OVER THERE FIGHTING FOR OUR FREEDOM THEN YOU ARE AS FUCKING STUPID AS THEY COME AND YOU SHOULD FUCKING DIE. I'M NOT SAYING ALL TROOPS ARE RAPIST. I JUST HATE THEM RIGHT NOW.
THE END
As I said, I'm torn.
Spread The Word
15 Responses to "Sensitive Topic! You Have Been Warned!"
said this on 05 Mar 2012 10:03:53 PM CDT
Wow I would hate to think someone would be so vile and lie about being raped. But there are just too many things that don't add up. Maybe his rape fantasy was a little more than he could handle and he freaked out for a minute. I'm kind of torn myself.
|
said this on 05 Mar 2012 10:18:20 PM CDT
I struggled with this one. Sure there are people who file false claims - but why all of this? I do believe something happen to him...the nagging question is was it consensual 100% of the time.
What really sucks is every time someone is suspected of making a false claim, his name pops up. If this was a stunt, I hope he realizes the damage he has caused. |
said this on 05 Mar 2012 10:42:22 PM CDT
Well sometimes we imagine things one way but in reality it turns out nothing at all like what we had in mind. Maybe things in his fantasy rape senario got more out of control then he had in mind. He freaked out got scared and reported it as rape. Than after he had time to cool off the dropped everthing. I guess only him those other men will ever know the real deal.
|
said this on 06 Mar 2012 7:23:24 AM CDT
Exactly! Even if that were the case and he published the real story years from now, it wouldn't matter. The damage is done.
I hate when people blame victims BUT this case was muddled from the beginning. |
said this on 05 Mar 2012 11:28:39 PM CDT
If I understand the stats, as many as 2% of reported rapes turn out to be false accusations. Nope, correction, according to Wikipedia, 2% are unfounded reports of rape, which is not the same thing as false reporting, but rather situations where the rape did not include the clear and present threat of violence.
Part of me wants to leap to this guy's defense, saying that rape victims do often recant their true accusations. So, while I don't ever see a rape victim being "over it" I do see someone saying "over it" to put a brave face over the attempt to run from the reality. Seriously, there is no valid response to rape. There's no "one true response". There are different people and different responses to fear and pain. With the lack of physical evidence to support the claims, the only thing I can say is that it looks like there would be reasonable doubt. And, that's where I'm going to leave my conclusion. I, were I on the jury, would not be able, given only the information at hand, to vote to convict. I would not be able, for certain, that Wyler was not raped or that Vanarro did not commit the rape assuming that it did happen. |
said this on 06 Mar 2012 7:14:31 AM CDT
Good point: unfounded reports of rape aren't the same as false reporting. And there isn't a compulsory response to rape. Each person reacts differently. But Mason's reaction struck me as odd which made it difficult to believe him. Saying that sickens me a little.
As a survivor (a fairly leveled-headed person), I couldn't have voted to convict either. There was certainly reasonable doubt. The whole situation was a mess! Sadly, we live with the consequencies. |
said this on 06 Mar 2012 2:54:14 PM CDT
Why did his reaction struck you as odd?. I mean you agreed that every rape victim reacts differently. I'd say, given his history, it seems like he's a very abused young man, which would skew his confusion as to what happened to him.
I wish him the very best. It must be hard to be judged when you're already so psychologically/physicall y messed up. |
said this on 06 Mar 2012 3:42:10 PM CDT
cccH, I'm so glad you commented. What struck me as odd was the way he swung (literally in a few post), between horror one hour, then joking about it the next. And I completely agree with you: he seems like a very abused young man. Maybe that's the way he coped with it. Sexual abuse fucks you up! It must be 100% consensual 100% of the time otherwise it's abuse.
If it was a 'scene' gone wrong, and he came to an agreement with the guys after the fact, I wish he'd handled it better. His supporters rallied for him - days later he's “Over it”? Doubting his word kills me. If the story is false then he can go to hell - his stunt will cast doubt on future rape victims. If not, then I hope he's in a better place now. |
said this on 07 Mar 2012 8:55:11 AM CDT
Anything from manic depression, drug use, to just plain old fashioned shock can produce those kinds of moodswings. And, a reaction to fear in an attempt to put a strong face on an instinct to run away from the reality can produce what appears to be a mood swing but is, in fact, a consistant mood of hurt and fear.
I'm pushing on this because I know that police, media, judges, attourneys, and juries can all have a tendancy to place the onus on the victim, in cases of rape, to have the "right rape response." It's a suggestion that you're not raped if your reaction was A. indicitive of handling it too well, B. indicitive of not handling it well enough, C. the response was not quick enough, D. if your response was not 100% consistant, etc. In general, we shouldn't be judging rape response. It says to victims that they have the responsibility to make things easy on us. They don't need that responsibility. It's not helpful. And, it is a signifigant part of why so few rapes are reported. Statistically, I'm sure there are certain responses to rape that are more common than others. And, in terms of expectation, if one was a teacher of small children, I might not predict that they would go to work and keep upbeat throughout the day for the kids. But, that's only on an individual level. Statisticallly, I'm damn certain it's already happened. The short of this is to say that we can't judge a crime by the victim's response. |
said this on 07 Mar 2012 10:34:01 PM CDT
I agree, behavior can be attributed to any number of things. In this case, because it gained as much attention and criticism, if there was a misunderstanding or miscommunication between the parties, saying so would remove all speculation.
Does that make sense? It made sense in my head. :) |
said this on 07 Mar 2012 11:05:25 PM CDT
It makes sense, but at this point I don't think anything would end the speculation.
There are two possible realities, either he was raped or he wasn't. Either one would result in the behavior that appears to be the other. Wyler could recant everything, state that he was reacting to what turned out to be the result of a lack of communication before a meeting, and it could still be that he's trying to manage his fears and reduce what would still be a backlash of the doubtful, the angry, and those who think he's attacking our troops. Anything short of Venarro's complete and unvarnished confession would still leave open the possibility that no rape occurred. There are some points where the only thing you can know for certain is that you don't know. |
said this on 07 Mar 2012 12:44:53 PM CDT
The thing is, (female) rape victims are always second guessed anyways. So if his story's false, I don't think it would make any nevermind to other (real) victims of rape/abuse. They're always "asking for it", whether adult or child, according to our societies.
It's a very confused story and I read it but can't make heads or tails of what might be the truth besides the fact that anyone who says they've been abused, is immediately given my benefit of the doubt. Thanks too for posting, Tracy. I like your honesty, forthrightedness and how you challenge things. |
said this on 07 Mar 2012 10:14:48 PM CDT
You're so sweet. Thank you for being you 24/7 - no BS.
I agree: male rape victims are second guessed because they're men. Well, women can rape just as easily as men. No double standards. And "they were asking for it" drives me up the effin' wall. Male, female, young, old, cat, dog - No one asks or deserves to be assaulted but when they are, the law, not public opinion, should protects them. End of story. Like you, I give anyone who says they were abused the benefit of the doubt. I've been there, how could I not. This one left me confused, girl! |
said this on 07 Mar 2012 10:11:15 AM CDT
I think there is some truth to his story but like Crystal said only those involved would ever know. One thing that is apparent is that he, Mr. Wyler, has cried "wolf" one time too many (not specifically to the rape charges) but if family members are saying this is being done as a publicity stunt, makes you wonder what else he may have done for them to lose all faith and trust in him.
|
said this on 07 Mar 2012 10:20:47 PM CDT
Considering he has always gone on about his "great relationship" with his family, I found that a little stange as well. But maybe that was just his cover - maybe his childhood was terrible. That isn't a reason to...See? Now I'm confused again!
No one will ever know. |