How to know you are being taken for granted
- By Tracy Ames
- Published March 16, 2012
Tracy Ames
Mrs. Ames is an international bestselling author of interracial erotic fiction and a former columnist for several newsletters and magazines.
A native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Tracy currently split time between CT & New York City with her husband, children and a host of pets.
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Hiya folks!
I posted this on my Tumblr page months ago after coming it while researching strained relationships. I thought I would post it here as well.
You can read the full article HERE. I hope you find it helpful or at least interesting.
What you can do about being taken for granted?
~ You always are there to offer your help, yet when last time you were the one in need everyone you called up was busy.
~ Your friends won’t return any favor. Ever.
~ You listen to people’s problems but there is nobody to listen to yours.
~ Your efforts don’t get even a simple thanks.
~ No matter how much you contribute people always want you to do more. Extra pay? Some appreciation? You are funny, really!
~ You feel not cared enough for, not loved enough, ignored, neglected.
~ People assume you will always be there and each time you are not is taken as a personal offense.
~ You notice that people forget to tell you things that matter.
~ People don’t care what you do unless they need you to do something for them.
You said YES to more than 3 points in the list? That’s a warning sign. Maybe you should think about making yourself noticed and listened to.
What you can do about being taken for granted?
1. Do not panic and do not make assumptions
It might all have a very logical explanation. If you freak out and get mad for no reason it will make things only worse.
2. Talk about it
Don’t hold it in. But don’t sound accusing or blaming. Just talk. The relationships begin to die when we stop talking about things that matter.
3. Stop being nice all the time
You are human. You have emotions. You can get mad, you can be sad, you can be upset. If people know how you feel they won’t take it for granted.
4. Learn to say ‘no’
As hard as it seems it is still possible. Give it a try. Start with smaller things. People will take you for granted only as long as you let them. Saying ‘no’ is the first step on the road of not letting them do it.
5. Do not compromise with your self-respect
Ever. You are better than this.
6. Question your motives
Don’t expect praise and appreciation. You do things for yourself because you like helping people out, not because you want them to help you later. Or don’t you?
7. Treat people as you want to be treated
Old cliché, maybe, but it does work. Before blaming someone for taking you for granted, see if you do it the same way.
8. Stand your ground and draw boundaries
You are a good person. You are a good friend. You know that. They know that. Now it’s time to be strong for yourself.
When you say ‘no’ to someone the world won’t turn upside down. It will be at the exact same place. You should realize that whatever is meant to happen will happen. Good or bad.
You can’t run around giving people second and third chances. You can’t let them take advantage of you. You can’t be there for them always even when they let you down all the time.
Relationships are always worth fighting for but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting.
Sometimes, people need to fight for you.
I posted this on my Tumblr page months ago after coming it while researching strained relationships. I thought I would post it here as well.
You can read the full article HERE. I hope you find it helpful or at least interesting.
What you can do about being taken for granted?
~ You always are there to offer your help, yet when last time you were the one in need everyone you called up was busy.
~ Your friends won’t return any favor. Ever.
~ You listen to people’s problems but there is nobody to listen to yours.
~ Your efforts don’t get even a simple thanks.
~ No matter how much you contribute people always want you to do more. Extra pay? Some appreciation? You are funny, really!
~ You feel not cared enough for, not loved enough, ignored, neglected.
~ People assume you will always be there and each time you are not is taken as a personal offense.
~ You notice that people forget to tell you things that matter.
~ People don’t care what you do unless they need you to do something for them.
You said YES to more than 3 points in the list? That’s a warning sign. Maybe you should think about making yourself noticed and listened to.
What you can do about being taken for granted?
1. Do not panic and do not make assumptions
It might all have a very logical explanation. If you freak out and get mad for no reason it will make things only worse.
2. Talk about it
Don’t hold it in. But don’t sound accusing or blaming. Just talk. The relationships begin to die when we stop talking about things that matter.
3. Stop being nice all the time
You are human. You have emotions. You can get mad, you can be sad, you can be upset. If people know how you feel they won’t take it for granted.
4. Learn to say ‘no’
As hard as it seems it is still possible. Give it a try. Start with smaller things. People will take you for granted only as long as you let them. Saying ‘no’ is the first step on the road of not letting them do it.
5. Do not compromise with your self-respect
Ever. You are better than this.
6. Question your motives
Don’t expect praise and appreciation. You do things for yourself because you like helping people out, not because you want them to help you later. Or don’t you?
7. Treat people as you want to be treated
Old cliché, maybe, but it does work. Before blaming someone for taking you for granted, see if you do it the same way.
8. Stand your ground and draw boundaries
You are a good person. You are a good friend. You know that. They know that. Now it’s time to be strong for yourself.
When you say ‘no’ to someone the world won’t turn upside down. It will be at the exact same place. You should realize that whatever is meant to happen will happen. Good or bad.
You can’t run around giving people second and third chances. You can’t let them take advantage of you. You can’t be there for them always even when they let you down all the time.
Relationships are always worth fighting for but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting.
Sometimes, people need to fight for you.
Spread The Word
8 Responses to "How to know you are being taken for granted"
said this on 16 Mar 2012 4:21:29 AM CDT
Thanks JJ! I'll start sharing more of the little gems I come across while researching.
How ever small and unintentional, everyone has taken someone for granted at least once...kinda like when we notice the garbage is mounting because the person who normally takes it out isn't around. It's the sufficient slights that hurt. |
said this on 16 Mar 2012 1:07:04 PM CDT
Great blog and everything you said in it is so on point. I know for myself I have definitely had to work on not feeling bad about saying no to people. It's just in my make up to want to help . But I have learned there are people who will try and take advantage. I have learned to speak up for myself and put them in check.
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said this on 19 Mar 2012 6:50:29 PM CDT
Crystal, you're a sweetheart but I'd never say you were a doormat.
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said this on 17 Mar 2012 9:31:31 AM CDT
Great post...in 2010 I realized I'd listen to everyones problems so long that when troubles came my way no one had time or sympathy....I was shocked I'd stop what I was doing rush over and make time for people and when I needed someone to listen to me no one dropped everything or reacted like I did...While I still listen I do say no...People noticed and said I was acting funny...It took a lot for me to to it but I let them know I was putting me first...Agian fantastic post!
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said this on 19 Mar 2012 6:54:59 PM CDT
It's not 'acting funny'...as you said, it's putting you first. It's a stumbbling block for compassionate people.
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said this on 19 Mar 2012 6:22:59 PM CDT
Who is taking you for granted, Tracy? Who do I need to give a stern talking to?! I'm your girrrrlllllll!
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said this on 19 Mar 2012 6:56:45 PM CDT
Lydia, you and Stephanie would be the first to know. Gangsters!
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