Why Do I Even Bother?
- By Tracy Ames
- Published April 16, 2012
Tracy Ames
Mrs. Ames is an international bestselling author of interracial erotic fiction and a former columnist for several newsletters and magazines.
A native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Tracy currently split time between CT & New York City with her husband, children and a host of pets.
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I post this on Tumblr last month as I was experiencing trouble posting on the site from the hospital.
Howard, Greg’s younger brother, loss his wife to leukemia three years ago. Now he’s back on the market. Thus far, things are horrid at best.
You see, he’s rather awkward with women – kinda like Simon but less stalker-ish. This is only with women. In all other areas, he’s fine.
Okay, so, ‘fine’ is stretching it. Like most of his family, Howard lacks a filter.
For example, one night while watching movies in the hospital, he says, “Why are all the cool people on the internet gay? Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay; it’s just a point of interest. Straight people are boring.”
Did I mention he’s a doctor? Yep, he is.
Moving on…
He has a girlfriend we’ll call Millie for sake of anonymity. Millie isn’t Ames’ quality which is to say she’s dim. She’s cute and well connected but dim. And dim doesn’t cut it…ever!
No one is expected to be Einstein but dim is a no-no, full stop.
Thankfully, she hasn’t met Momma Ames or Auntie. The meeting will be interesting as hell, though. I’ll be sure to detail the entire event. In the meantime, here’s a clip from our first conversation. Enjoy!
Note: BIL GF stands for Brother in-law's Girlfriend
BIL GF: I love British accents. I don’t like Irish and Scottish. Or Welsh, gross! But I love British!
Me: So you prefer the English accent, yeah? English is England only…none of the bits you don’t care for.
BIL GF (blank): I don’t get it.
Me (feeling like the Miracle Worker): You said British but you meant English. *Pause* It’s one of the innumerable British accents. *Pause, whispers* England is in Britain, dear.
BIL GF (thousand-yard stare): It’s all England.
Me: Oh my God! They’re gonna eat you alive. Howard! Sort her out before she meets your mother!!
Another Note: I have since explained that referring to anything Welsh as 'gross' is unsafe. Knowing is half the battle.
Howard, Greg’s younger brother, loss his wife to leukemia three years ago. Now he’s back on the market. Thus far, things are horrid at best.
You see, he’s rather awkward with women – kinda like Simon but less stalker-ish. This is only with women. In all other areas, he’s fine.
Okay, so, ‘fine’ is stretching it. Like most of his family, Howard lacks a filter.
For example, one night while watching movies in the hospital, he says, “Why are all the cool people on the internet gay? Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay; it’s just a point of interest. Straight people are boring.”
Did I mention he’s a doctor? Yep, he is.
Moving on…
He has a girlfriend we’ll call Millie for sake of anonymity. Millie isn’t Ames’ quality which is to say she’s dim. She’s cute and well connected but dim. And dim doesn’t cut it…ever!
No one is expected to be Einstein but dim is a no-no, full stop.
Thankfully, she hasn’t met Momma Ames or Auntie. The meeting will be interesting as hell, though. I’ll be sure to detail the entire event. In the meantime, here’s a clip from our first conversation. Enjoy!
Note: BIL GF stands for Brother in-law's Girlfriend
BIL GF: I love British accents. I don’t like Irish and Scottish. Or Welsh, gross! But I love British!
Me: So you prefer the English accent, yeah? English is England only…none of the bits you don’t care for.
BIL GF (blank): I don’t get it.
Me (feeling like the Miracle Worker): You said British but you meant English. *Pause* It’s one of the innumerable British accents. *Pause, whispers* England is in Britain, dear.
BIL GF (thousand-yard stare): It’s all England.
Me: Oh my God! They’re gonna eat you alive. Howard! Sort her out before she meets your mother!!
Another Note: I have since explained that referring to anything Welsh as 'gross' is unsafe. Knowing is half the battle.
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12 Responses to "Why Do I Even Bother?"
said this on 16 Apr 2012 1:45:10 PM CDT
It may be wise to not make the introductions! LOL
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said this on 17 Apr 2012 7:31:43 AM CDT
You're right. Momma Ames and Auntie are brick walls when it comes this stuff. LOL!
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said this on 16 Apr 2012 10:28:42 PM CDT
Feed her to the wolves.......sink or swim baby! But in looking at this conversation, she will be needing a life preserver.
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said this on 17 Apr 2012 7:50:10 AM CDT
Girl! I couldn't believe she didn't grasp my point. Even Howard looked stunned when I told him.
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said this on 16 Apr 2012 11:34:50 PM CDT
No, this poor child needs the navy to save her. As I read the conversation, I thought for an instant you were speaking to a teenager. I would hate to see what her opinion on world events. (Oh I'm sorry that may be above her pay grade)
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said this on 17 Apr 2012 8:00:56 AM CDT
Dori, it was a Miracle Worker moment. Come on! I threw her some rope.
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said this on 17 Apr 2012 7:19:58 AM CDT
lol you said she's cute, well tell her to smile, nod her head, agree with everything Howard has to say and laugh at the appropriate time :) she'll make it for a few minutes
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said this on 17 Apr 2012 8:08:28 AM CDT
Now you know Momma Ames and Auntie will snift out that rat in seconds. Auntie will give her the "what-the-hell" look, fold her arms and walk away. That's the old WASPy aunt way of serving folks. LOL!
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said this on 17 Apr 2012 8:50:03 PM CDT
OMG! Seroulsy somebody needs help that poor girl. Momma Ames and Auntie will rip her apart. She definitely needs to just smile nod her head and say as little a possible when she meets them and that might not even save her ass.lol
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said this on 17 Apr 2012 10:51:10 PM CDT
Hey Tracy... it's been a while....
She may be dim but if she is of childbearing age she may slip into the family by any means necessary. Howard is vunerable and lonely. Watch out!! lol |
said this on 19 Apr 2012 12:17:37 AM CDT
Hmmm...
Great Britain is the United Kingdom...as in all those countries and various "British" accents. Damn, Tracy, why did she have to even go "there"? Or would there be trouble no matter "where" she went, LOL!? |
said this on 07 May 2012 9:36:45 PM CDT
Forget the Momma Ames meeting, G's filter must be on extra tight. I can't believe he hasn't had her in tears yet.
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