I post this on Tumblr last month as I was experiencing trouble posting on the site from the hospital.

Howard, Greg’s younger brother, loss his wife to leukemia three years ago. Now he’s back on the market. Thus far, things are horrid at best.

You see, he’s rather awkward with women – kinda like Simon but less stalker-ish. This is only with women. In all other areas, he’s fine.

Okay, so, ‘fine’ is stretching it. Like most of his family, Howard lacks a filter.

For example, one night while watching movies in the hospital, he says, “Why are all the cool people on the internet gay? Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay; it’s just a point of interest. Straight people are boring.”

Did I mention he’s a doctor? Yep, he is.

Moving on…

He has a girlfriend we’ll call Millie for sake of anonymity. Millie isn’t Ames’ quality which is to say she’s dim. She’s cute and well connected but dim. And dim doesn’t cut it…ever!

No one is expected to be Einstein but dim is a no-no, full stop.

Thankfully, she hasn’t met Momma Ames or Auntie. The meeting will be interesting as hell, though. I’ll be sure to detail the entire event. In the meantime, here’s a clip from our first conversation. Enjoy!

Note: BIL GF stands for Brother in-law's Girlfriend

BIL GF: I love British accents. I don’t like Irish and Scottish. Or Welsh, gross! But I love British!

Me: So you prefer the English accent, yeah? English is England only…none of the bits you don’t care for.

BIL GF (blank): I don’t get it.

Me (feeling like the Miracle Worker): You said British but you meant English. *Pause* It’s one of the innumerable British accents. *Pause, whispers* England is in Britain, dear.

BIL GF (thousand-yard stare): It’s all England.

Me: Oh my God! They’re gonna eat you alive. Howard! Sort her out before she meets your mother!!

Another Note: I have since explained that referring to anything Welsh as 'gross' is unsafe. Knowing is half the battle.