Me and My Shadow
- By Tracy Ames
- Published June 11, 2012
Tracy Ames
Mrs. Ames is an international bestselling author of interracial erotic fiction and a former columnist for several newsletters and magazines.
A native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Tracy currently split time between CT & New York City with her husband, children and a host of pets.
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I wasn't sure if I should share this with you guys fearing it might come off silly but here goes.
For the past year and a half, an inspiring writer has shadowed me, and not in a good way.
By ‘shadow’, I mean she mimics my personality, adopts my behavior, presents my ideas as hers, befriends my friends, routinely drops my name, and joins my social groups…all million of them.
I didn’t think much of it in the beginning because I couldn't fathom the idea of high functioning adult behaving in such a ludicrous manner. Since then, I've seen the light.
Even in the face of mounting evidence, I thought it was just me being hyper-sensitive. That was until others unaware of the situation approached me.
It’s extremely annoying and has become somewhat of a joke. For instance:
“Tracy, your friend is at it again. LOL!!”
“Girl, did you see what she did? People are high-fiving her for your ideas. Check her please!”
“Isn’t that the same thing you posted five minutes ago? Where’s your accreditation? She cut you out! LMAO!” (Thanks Mom.)
“I met this girl named ****. You guys have a lot of the same interests. You’d get along great.” (Of course, we would. She’s my effin’ shadow!)
“Y’all wearing the same shirt. Bwahh!”
These are just the tip of the iceberg. She recently wrote a story within a hair's breadth of “Spanked” in which she used my characters from “Fox and Hound”. Oh, yes she did! You know what that means!!!
She has even adopted my sense of humor, and tapped into my pattern of speech and writing style which I didn’t realize I had but, apparently, I do.
Sure, it’s laughable but it’s gotten out of hand. My nerves are fried to the point where I censor myself – I’m walking on egg shells. And frustration has turned to anger because I feel violated.
She doesn’t want to harm me – she wants to be me! What the hell is that about? I’m not that special. Trust me! So why is she inching into every corner of my life?
I know some of you don’t understand my plight. I’ll put it in gif form since I get into trouble when I explain things in human.
Consider this. Your co-worker hides behind corners, making note of your attire, then returns from lunch wearing the same outfit...everyday. You’re on the same committee, and they pawn your ideas off as theirs to the applause of the unwitting masses. Your words leave their mouth a nanosecond after they leave yours.
They join your place of worship to befriend your friends, and then pop up at cookouts with your potato salad - which, by the way, is now their potato salad. Your amusing stories are now their amusing stories. Your front yard is now their front yard. Your kids are now their kids. They walk, talk, eat, and sleep just like you. All the while, they’re smiling innocently.
Admit it. A lot of you just went from “I don’t get it.”…
...to “Get the fuck out!!”….
I'm at the end of my rope.
For the past year and a half, an inspiring writer has shadowed me, and not in a good way.
By ‘shadow’, I mean she mimics my personality, adopts my behavior, presents my ideas as hers, befriends my friends, routinely drops my name, and joins my social groups…all million of them.
I didn’t think much of it in the beginning because I couldn't fathom the idea of high functioning adult behaving in such a ludicrous manner. Since then, I've seen the light.
Even in the face of mounting evidence, I thought it was just me being hyper-sensitive. That was until others unaware of the situation approached me.
It’s extremely annoying and has become somewhat of a joke. For instance:
“Tracy, your friend is at it again. LOL!!”
“Girl, did you see what she did? People are high-fiving her for your ideas. Check her please!”
“Isn’t that the same thing you posted five minutes ago? Where’s your accreditation? She cut you out! LMAO!” (Thanks Mom.)
“I met this girl named ****. You guys have a lot of the same interests. You’d get along great.” (Of course, we would. She’s my effin’ shadow!)
“Y’all wearing the same shirt. Bwahh!”
These are just the tip of the iceberg. She recently wrote a story within a hair's breadth of “Spanked” in which she used my characters from “Fox and Hound”. Oh, yes she did! You know what that means!!!
She has even adopted my sense of humor, and tapped into my pattern of speech and writing style which I didn’t realize I had but, apparently, I do.
Sure, it’s laughable but it’s gotten out of hand. My nerves are fried to the point where I censor myself – I’m walking on egg shells. And frustration has turned to anger because I feel violated.
She doesn’t want to harm me – she wants to be me! What the hell is that about? I’m not that special. Trust me! So why is she inching into every corner of my life?
I know some of you don’t understand my plight. I’ll put it in gif form since I get into trouble when I explain things in human.
Consider this. Your co-worker hides behind corners, making note of your attire, then returns from lunch wearing the same outfit...everyday. You’re on the same committee, and they pawn your ideas off as theirs to the applause of the unwitting masses. Your words leave their mouth a nanosecond after they leave yours.
They join your place of worship to befriend your friends, and then pop up at cookouts with your potato salad - which, by the way, is now their potato salad. Your amusing stories are now their amusing stories. Your front yard is now their front yard. Your kids are now their kids. They walk, talk, eat, and sleep just like you. All the while, they’re smiling innocently.
Admit it. A lot of you just went from “I don’t get it.”…
...to “Get the fuck out!!”….
I'm at the end of my rope.
Spread The Word
32 Responses to "Me and My Shadow"
said this on 11 Jun 2012 8:34:13 AM CDT
I saw her post. It was yours dead on. I was like wait a minute this sounds like 'Spanked'. I kept reading and when she used the name Cara I emailed you.
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said this on 11 Jun 2012 8:42:17 AM CDT
You have handled the situation better than I would have. I'd be in jail. These things happen to everyone sooner or later. It comes with the job. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. Please reach out if there is anything I can do.
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said this on 12 Jun 2012 5:14:08 AM CDT
Yeah, I know. It's going on two years. Isn't she bored yet?
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said this on 11 Jun 2012 8:51:15 AM CDT
ROFLMAO! I don't mean to laugh but the way you tell it is funny. People are so stupid.
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said this on 12 Jun 2012 5:16:51 AM CDT
I'm serious! I've loss the ability to speak 'human'. :)
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said this on 11 Jun 2012 11:34:41 AM CDT
Can't you just put her on blast by shining a very bright light on her copy cat behavior? Call her out by name and let everyone know what the heffa is doing and specifically each time she does it. She's getting away with this cause you are toooooo polite. Shadow's can't exist in bright light......
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said this on 12 Jun 2012 5:20:38 AM CDT
Hey Chick! You're right, shadows can't exist in bright light. I wanted to put her on blast but I didn't want to give her any undue recognition. She's an attention whore so that would play right into her hands.
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said this on 11 Jun 2012 11:55:43 AM CDT
Time to throw polite out the window. Unfortunately it may make her do something more drastic or it may be the wake up call she needs.
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said this on 12 Jun 2012 5:28:26 AM CDT
Wanda, polite time is at an end. As annoying as her constant emulation and douchebaggery has been, this shit got real when she mimicked my work. I'll explain that in another post.
We'll know where we stand when she receives the cease and desist order. Maybe that'll be her wake up call. |
said this on 11 Jun 2012 12:42:32 PM CDT
It may just be time to notify the police, maybe hold her over for a psych evaluation. By what you're describing, she's not just trying to emulate you, she's trying to insert herself into your social position.
People with complex delusions, such as believing you're just really good friends with (insert famous and accessable person here) can become violent when their delusions are threatened. |
said this on 12 Jun 2012 5:39:21 AM CDT
We sent a cease and desist order but I'm also seeking other avenues. And you're right, she suffers delusions. We made passing comments but we're not good friends.
Couldn't she have chosen someone else to shadow? Aimed a little higher? It's as if I'm clubbing on the weekends, or sipping Cristal with P-Diddy. I'm at home with my family, baking cookies and chugging soy milk. |
said this on 13 Jun 2012 2:05:39 PM CDT
You're well known in your field, you have followers in your website, and, yeah, you have husband and kids.
What's more, you're close enough to be accessable. To someone subject to delusions and obsessed with becoming someone else, someone closer (physically) seems like an accessable target, a life close enough to take over. Maybe the cease and dessist will push her off of you and, likely, onto someone else. I'm hoping that'll be the case until she gets some help. |
said this on 14 Jun 2012 9:45:16 PM CDT
I'm glad you mentioned my accessibility because it's been the topic of discussion for a while. I'm nowhere nearly P-Diddy famous but I've learned (the hard way) that I can't share everything - I have to pull back a bit especially where my children are concerned. For instance, I mentioned Eva's school by name, the name of the cafe we frequent on the town green, and the B&B we visit in Vermont.
To normal people, this is nothing, passing chatter. But to others it's an inch closer. I told you about the guy who called the B&B the weekend we went bike riding! Thankfully the innkeeper sorted him out. Those are the types of details I can't afford to disclose anymore. |
said this on 11 Jun 2012 1:47:57 PM CDT
Pretty scary to me. I have to agree with WingedBeast.
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said this on 12 Jun 2012 5:47:16 AM CDT
It's scary as hell, Pam. It's a violation.
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said this on 11 Jun 2012 4:12:50 PM CDT
Wow I see your dilema. I would say put her on blast and tell her to get a life. But if she not all there mentally it might set her off and make her act out. Since at this point she hasn't done anything illegal or threating the police can't really do much. I guess the best way to go about it is to approach her in a way non confrontational way that wont set her off but let her know your not with her insertion in your life.
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said this on 12 Jun 2012 5:51:16 AM CDT
Exactly! Other than piggy-backing and copying my work, she hasn't attempted to physically harm me. Hopefully the cease and desist order will knock some sense into her.
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said this on 13 Jun 2012 7:25:05 AM CDT
This is the highest violation a woman could make aside from sleeping with another woman's man. Tracy this sounds like: SWF; so be careful. I hope that she is not around your family and if she is you would have to tread carefully. I make jokes about people being six short of a dozen(crazy) but you have more than that because she wants to be you. Please be careful.
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said this on 14 Jun 2012 9:17:34 AM CDT
You have a very good point. She is a textbook SWF. Thankfully she isn't around my family - goodness knows where that would lead. It may sound petty but she's piggy-backing everything I do. It's annoying as hell. Every time I turn around she's there!
Aside from lifting my work, legally speaking there's little to be done because she hasn't physically threatened me. But it's an escalation with these types of people. |
said this on 14 Jun 2012 10:17:59 PM CDT
Tracy be careful! All I have to say is "Single White Female"! LOL
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said this on 16 Jun 2012 8:35:59 AM CDT
single psycho female more like it. TA I am sure you know a russian or two *wink, wink* mess with the family and you're asking for a death wish. IJS
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said this on 17 Jun 2012 10:19:49 AM CDT
JJ, you might be on to something. :)
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said this on 18 Jun 2012 7:12:54 PM CDT
Don't know if you guys remember it, but "Single White Female" was a movie. Jennifer Jason Leigh's character WAS a psycho single female.
Tracy all i'm saying is, if she starts dressing like you...RUN, or at least get out the .357! LOL |
said this on 17 Jun 2012 10:15:21 AM CDT
Lady! She's testing my patience. That's right, she's at it again! She ripped something I post on Tumblr within SECONDS. Mind you, she went around me to do so. I tried blocking her but it's not working. Tumblr is sorting it out. I hate to delete me account but I will.
She made a big mistake when she lifted my original photography - she couldn't have gotten it anywhere else but from me. She took the bait...silly rabbit. |
said this on 17 Jun 2012 9:54:06 AM CDT
It is all really scary...but you always worry about escalation. It can start small, but some unknown trigger can turn on another switch. I am glad you have the police involved, but be careful!
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said this on 17 Jun 2012 10:27:45 AM CDT
It's scary as hell! Trust me, we're walking on egg shells with this bitch. The escalation was bound to happen. We knew it was only a matter of time before she lifted my work or hijacked my plots and presented them as fanfiction.
What really sucks is all of this is turning me into someone I'm not: a jumpy miser. I don't like tiptoeing around, checking around corners, over analyzing someone's intentions. |
said this on 18 Jun 2012 3:44:52 PM CDT
You have every right to be scared. My heart goes out to you Tracy for having to go through this.
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said this on 20 Jun 2012 10:47:48 AM CDT
I can understand and appreciate why, (as best as you can) you've kept your family out of the limelight
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said this on 27 Jun 2012 6:20:50 PM CDT
Although this was already said, be careful. It is a shame that open dialogue and sharing of everyday events have caused you drama. I was stalked by a guy at work without ever being aware. In his mind he and I were dating, when all I said was hello. He was able to obtain my home phone number and make numerous crank calls. I only became aware of "our relationship" because co-workers were warned me. I became paranoid, I was escorted to/from work. I did not go out alone. Basically my life was changed dramatically. I for one truly understand the emotions:anger, disbelief, rage etc. At the end of the day your safety & that of your loved ones are most important. I hope you find a way to cope (as best as possible) in such a situation.
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said this on 27 Jun 2012 6:33:22 PM CDT
Goodness. He sounds like a nutter. I'm glad your co-workers tipped you off before he physically harmed you. I say 'physically' because some people believe it's no harm no foul since the person didn't physically touch you but that's not true. These events leave psychological scars. Through no fault of your own, you're forced to become a paranoid, less trusting version of yourself. A lot of people don't understand that.
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said this on 12 Jul 2012 10:28:12 AM CDT
This woman is bat-shit bonkers and you best be careful! Usually this type of individual will "get rid of" the person they are imitating because in their warped mind, there is no longer a use for the "REAL YOU" and you need to "DISAPPEAR". It's a wonder her ass ain't shown up at your house in your bed!
Get a restraining order and let EVERYONE know about this MENTALLY SICK person for you and your family's protection! |